THE MAN IN ME: Becoming Jacob
by artbeatsandlife
Summary: *Indefinite Hiatus* Jacob Black is a man of duality. He's next to become tribal chief but he's also a 20-something college grad up for a big-time job in Seattle. Can he come to terms with his tribe, pack, girlfriend & himself? Rated M for language & Lemo
1. Prologue – Tradition and Transformation

**Prologue – Tradition and Transformation**

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I knew I would die.

I mean, how could I not? How could this beyond-fathomable level of pain be possible for one person to endure and he not die?

I wanted to die; I willed-no-, begged for the darkness, but it never came. I was very much alive.

The mixture of tears and blood and sweat and mucus intermingled in a pool in the sandy dirt and leaves inches from my mouth. I paid no mind to my dirty, raw knuckles and knees as I dug my fingers deeper into the dry, woodsy earth, trying in vain to alleviate some of the pain.

"Kill me! Please!" I half-growled, half-begged. It was a bit extreme, yes. Plus, I knew he wouldn't. None of them would- they were in on this whole thing.

I pleaded with my eyes, ground my teeth and heard a distant, bloodcurdling sound- realizing with horror that it was me. I was screaming. I never knew I could make that sound – animalistic, yet, uniquely human.

Confusion set in, followed closely by the anger and the fire, burning white hot in every molecule of my being, beginning in my gut and burning a slow, wrenching trail to the very tips of my fingers. My pulse quickened to an inhumanly pace. How long would this take!?

"Jake, dude. You gotta calm down, man. Your anger triggers it. Try and relax - everything will be fine. I promise," Embry said in an irritatingly calm voice, that, I would imagine, was meant to soothe me, but even the treble in his voice caused me pain. I could feel the basse in his voice. The pain it caused – that everything caused - was a tangible thing. I could literally touch my agony, and it definitely didn't feel good.

After yelling a string of obscenities, too blinded by the pain to care that tribal elders were within earshot, it happened.

"Oh my god!" I yelled in my native Quileute. A surge of energy swallowed my body, rumbling in waves, up my back, to my scalp, and through my mouth – causing a deafening roar-howl to escape. My body exploded and morphed into a shape I still didn't understand,; everyone around me suddenly becoming much smaller. Then came the voices again. The stream of consciousness of those around me as their shapes changed as well.

My line of sight went from my typical human blurriness, to something that scared me senseless, yet excited me. I had never seen this acutely. Smelled this sharply. Heard this profoundly. I could see more than 5 miles ahead of me, every leaf, every droplet of water, every insect, every woodland creature. They all sighed and sounded and I could hear it all.

The murmurs of those around me, once a litany of painful vibrations, morphed into a hum of recognition. It was audible now. I suppose I'd been deafened by the pain for the larger part of the morning. I noticed now that dusk was approaching. Had it been 12 hours? Well, 72 if you count the last 3 days. Three days of mind numbing, excruciating waves of fire in my body.

Finally, I had relief and I welcomed it like water to the cracked, parched lips of a man lost in the desert. Finally, as the rumbling and shaking start to slow, I suddenly understood. Sam allowed Embry to explain to me all the questions I mentally asked without a word. I understood what I was- what we all were and were becoming- and why. They had returned.

Later, I sat at the feet of several elders and they explained that the stories where true. They were our history, not some B sci-fi novel. I learned the truth of my great-grandfather and the two others in his pack.

Then, I remembered. Being dragged to this remote spot of the rez, away from ears and eyes, by my brothers in tradition. Up to the mountains of La Push, away from the horrified onyx eyes that mirrored my own, belonging to my father, who knew all too well what was happening to the grandson of Ephraim Black. It had happened to others before me, but never this close. In his home. He'd told the tales and kept the folklore ,or at least, up 'til this moment, what I'd thought was mere folklore and superstition.

No, this was real and he sat at the door to our small house, with the same look that so many on the rez had had while this happened to their own sons. And husbands, and brothers, and imprints. We all carried the weight of this load, this cross of tradition on our shoulders.

They'd dropped me- shaking and mumbling and moaning, and later, screaming, onto the earth, backing away quickly, for fear that, at any millisecond – I'd phase again.

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**REVIEWS Rock out loud!!**

**A/N **- Hey guys, thanks for reading. This is my first stab at writing fanfic, so be gentle.

This story came to me as I finished BD and started reading more and more fanfics about Bella and Edward. Jacob is such an interesting character, but we rarely get to see who he is outside of the vacuum that is Bella and Edward's love fest. He is a real (or as real as a character can be) man - with career ambition and tribal pride. Hope this does him justice.

Thanks to my Beta Hopeful Wager.

**~~ Stephenie Meyer Owns Twilight and all its characters. I own none ~~**

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	2. Chapter 1 Celebration

**Chapter 1 - Celebration**

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I was close to the front, seated with A through C.

You know, for Black.

I said a silent thank you to my ancestors for having the foresight, however unrelated to this moment, to be named Black; after standing for longer than I'd like that day, it meant I could finally sit down.

Again, I fidgeted, trying unsuccessfully to wiggle my toes under the discomfort of my newly purchased shoes.

Shoes. The bane of my existence - those, and socks. Whoever came up with either of those inventions should be shot. I scanned the crowed and caught sight of the imp that had purchased the torturous shiny black pair currently constricting the blood flow to my legs.

_"Jacob, you are so classless. Have I taught you nothing in all this time? I forbid you to wear those on one of the most important days of your life," she'd scowled, glancing at my old trusty leather flip flops. They'd become the closest thing to being barefoot, and that was just the way I liked it._

Weeks before, we'd stood in the walk-in closet of what had become my second - or third counting my apartment and Billy's - home. Alice had come to me earlier in the day asking what I would wear for graduation, followed by my rather amused girlfriend. I'd pulled out my favorite jeans, a white dress shirt, and, the subject of our current argument.

_"Alice, you can't even see them," I'd complained., "I'll have on the gown, and besides, who'll be looking at my feet anyway, what, with this handsome mug of mine?" I teased with a dimpled smirk, holding my chin. At that moment, somewhere in the house, I heard Emmett cough, "Bullshit!" then Jasper's laugh._

_Eyes darkening, she glared at me then, quick as a flash, climbed the length of my 6'7" frame, onto my back and held her razor-sharp teeth half an inch from my throat before I could exhale from my last breath._

_She whispered in a chilling, almost inaudible voice, "I'm not going to have this discussion with you mutt. You'll do as I say and you'll stay alive to bark another day. Now. These are Ferragamo. Put them on."_

_She quickly placed an icy peck on my cheek as Ness chuckled behind me. I nodded my defeat and searched for the dress socks she'd laid out for me._

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"Jacob...Black." The chair of the Engineering Department had said my name, nodding his head in silent affirmation of my accomplishment. I strode the stage in three long strides, taking his small right hand in my massive one, grasping the smooth leather diploma case in my left.

I immediately looked to the crowd, in the direction of my blood relatives and much of my extended family. I'd never thought I'd be able to call them most of them that. There was a time when I could barely stand sharing the same air as them - well, I'll never get used to that sickeningly sweet smell - but what a difference one woman can make on the lives of centurial enemies.

Emmett's boisterous cheers and whistles peppered the air, in line with the rest of the Cullens, my pack, my family, Charlie, and Sue's. Most importantly, though, I saw my heart. Ness stood with tears in her beautiful eyes, and a look of pride and adoration on her face.

Flashing her a bright smile, I saw her fair skin flush bright red even from where I stood, the way I'd always loved.

I've loved her since the moment our eyes met, all those years ago.

The steps of my life were carefully mapped in line with hers. I lived for her. She lived for me. Even for this brief this moment, my heart ached not being able to touch her. This moment was as much hers as mine. We had become so much a part of each other that my joy was her joy. The security that knowledge brought me was unmatched. I would never be alone.

No, things weren't always perfect, believe me. We'd made it through my high school girlfriends, her crushes on a couple douchebag jocks, late night patrols, my crazy sisters and Ness's even crazier derivation. Nope, things aren't easy for a wolf and a half vampire who's really only been alive for 8 years, but, I guess in our world, if our relationship wasn't weird, we'd be a tad apprehensive.

I waived my diploma in their direction, and was met with a barrage of flashes and cheers, as I descended the platform and took my seat. Loosening the strings of my European-cut shoes, I sighed with sweet relief.

Later, as we all crossed the gravel-covered auxiliary parking lot, each dividing to our respective cars, I'd inadvertently gazed at the way Ness's hips swayed in her graceful feminine stride. My thoughts immediately drifted to our time this morning as we rushed to prepare for today's commencement.

Our bodies, slapping together loudly; soapy and wet. Me holding her soft thigh on my hip while she gripped my neck for support, though she didn't need it - Ness was almost stronger than me in most ways, and could outrun most of my pack if she'd hunted recently.

She'd pulled me - pajama bottoms and all- into the shower abruptly to join her. The lust and moaning and panting soon followed, as did one of the most toe-curling releases of my 24 years.

We reached her navy BMW convertible, a gift from Ed and Bells on her last birthday, and she turned to me, taking me into an embrace, with her hands on the dip where my shoulders and neck met. She showed me the joy and pride she had with an overtone of possessiveness painting the scenes like a thin layer of watercolor. I was hers. I knew that, just as I knew she was mine.

I wrapped my arms around the hips that belonged to me. While she had reached a formidable height for a woman, around five foot eight, the top of her head just barely reached my chin in her heels. We leaned against the car, her mouth on mine, with a fervor that belied the fact that we'd had the opportunity to be together nearly every moment since finals ended three weeks ago.

She'd tag along to the Quiluete language classes I'd started teaching part time in La Push, becoming a bit of a co-teacher to the young students. She'd picked up the language quickly over the past couple years and spoke to me and the pack in it fluently and often.

Or, I'd find her leaning her chair against the wall of the garage while I fixed an engine or changed the oil on a car, waiting patiently (or sometimes, not so patiently) for me to finish. She entertained herself joking with the others, and flirting with me as I watched the clock countdown to when my shift was over.

Not long after I started at UWA, Embry, Quil and I took ownership of the repair shop not too far from my apartment. While it was a struggle at first, the shop had began to flourish around my junior year, and allowed for some extra money to help Billy, cover rent, plus the rest of my tuition.

Carlisle soon insisted that they cover my school costs. After much argument on my part, Esme convinced (or rather, tricked) me into allowing them to pay, as long as I let them pay for my books as well. Go figure. So, I began working at the shop out of my own passion for motors when I wasn't giving time around La Push.

With her eyes still closed, she began showing me a video, mentally edited to display all the memories she'd collected over my academic career.

_Me complaining about Calculus._

_Us studying for my Senior year Bio final, and her rewarding me with a kiss._

_Me telling her I'd gotten accepted into the Civil and Environmental Engineering program at UW with a partial scholarship._

_Her forcing me to translate my sociology book into French, and later Latin for Carlisle 'for my own good.'_

All my academic moments up until the point of me walking across the stage moments ago.

"I love you... Thank you," I said. She knew what I meant without saying more. I was a guy; with that, comes a certain need, or lack thereof, to not communicate too much. She'd been there the whole way, and she made me better. My tribe was my past and present. She was my future.

She blushed, glancing down. The buttons of my black dress shirt becoming increasingly more interesting to her. It occurred to me - she was the perfect grouping of strength and softness, aptitude and beauty, innocence and assertiveness.

"I'm serious," I began, gently tilting her head up to look directly in her brown eyes. "You make me so happy and are the best part of my life." I breathed deeply, taking in her sweetness. I grasped her thick hair and patting it down her back.

I noted her silence, as I'd learned to do over the years. She'd once told me that she didn't see the purpose of speaking unless absolutely necessary. She'd found communicating, especially with humans, to be a choppy sea. At any moment one could say the wrong thing, the wrong way and the boat would capsize. As she matured, though, she'd learned to become quite the eloquent communicator, and, as when she was a child, everyone loved her for it.

"I love you, too Jacob Black," she started, '_I've_ _loved you forever. You are a good man - smart, funny, caring, strong, giving - and sexy as hell_' she thought, grinning. "I am so proud of you, my heart could burst. You've worked so hard for this, and trust me, I should know," she said with a wink.

I laughed, kissing her forehead, then, the tip of her nose.

"We're celebrating until further notice. Now, let's get going," she said, a matter-of-factly.

"Yes, sir, ma'am!" I said with a teasing salute, opening her door and hopping into the passenger side. Sliding the seat to the last notch - Alice must have been riding in the car - I placed my iPod into the dock and ran my thumb along the electronic wheel until I'd found my favorite Charlie Parker album. Ness mouthed an 'I Love You' to me, just after I stole a quick kiss, and then slid the shift into gear.

***

I silently gazed at the symbol of my achievement, tracing the gold lettering on its maroon cover with my fingers, and grinning like a fool.

I had to admit, I was proud of myself. Rachel and I were the firsts in my family to graduate from college. Hell, there weren't too many folks on the rez that had done what I'd spent the last four years doing. As the weight of that realization settled in my mind, I glanced up after what seemed like forever. We'd arrived.

"Jake, babe, we're here. Now, you know if we don't get in there soon, Alice and Dad will come looking for us," Ness said with a gleam in her eye. I paused, taking a moment to enjoy our solitude. A quick mental wave of gratitude for Alice flashed in my mind, as I glanced over at my love, who looked particularly edible tonight, in tight jeans and a sheer top.

She absently threw her copper waves over her shoulder and I caught the delicious zephyr I'd come to love and lust again.

She smelled like cinnamon and cloves and honeysuckle. Although I'd seen her just about every day for 8 years, my mouth still watered at the scent of her. I felt my body response in an unintentional, yet welcome way.

"Ness, let's skip this," I said, motioning my head in the opposite direction of the party, "I have something to, uh, show you back at my house..." I quipped, running my index finger lightly over her right nipple, smiling.

My apartment on the Forks/La Push line had become our escape shelter over the last 2 years. While it did nothing to make the the 2-hour trip to campus any more agreeable, (I'd whittled my classes down to Tuesday/Thursday so I'd only have to commute twice a week,) I mostly loved that it served as a bit of a refuge for me and Ness.

It didn't bode well for our love life that her dad was a telepath and her family had super hearing. We could hardly kiss without someone hearing the sound of our lips coming together. Showing her my love in physical form had become a bit of a problem to say the least, so we would escape there often to relieve some, _tension_.

"Come on babe," I said pressing my lips to hers, "I need you."

She responded to my touch, clutching her hand around mine, leading it to grasp her breast roughly, then the other. She shivered, and chuckled, as I heard her heartbeat speed, "You have something to show me, huh?" she began, sexily dragging out the syllables on her glossy lips.

"I have something to show _you_," she said, a purr at the back of her throat, "Jake, you know what you do to me?" She ran her hand up my thigh, her left hand settling on the side of my face, showing a scene of us, just yesterday; her head in my pillow gripping the sheets, me behind her.

"Whoa, okay. So, you can't do that. You win," I said with a grin, kissing her neck. I dragged my eyes up her shapely hips, small waist, and finally, her breasts that I'd grown to adore. She was definitely sexy, "You know, that is _not_ the way to get me in this party any faster." I said licking my lips.

"I know baby," she said innocently, knowing full well the effect her body had on me, "But, I promise, it's gonna be a good time here with everyone who loves you, and later,we'll have will be an even better time. " she said smiling and kissing me passionately.

"Now, let's go in and celebrate. My baby is a college graduate!" she said with a wink., "We can finish _this_ later," she said gesturing between the two of us.

I reluctantly stepped out of the Ness's car, knowing that this thing would go late into the night. That's what you get for partying with weirdoes who never sleep. I looked around and clearly Alice outdid herself as much with the decorations as she did with my shoes.

The Big House was decorated just like Bella's birthday party a few years back, I recalled. I liked the whole Miami thing Alice had going on. She'd replaced all the living room furniture with white chairs and rugs. The electric blue, green and yellow lights made me forget we were partying in gloomy, overcast Forks.

"Jacob, congratulations!" Carlisle greeted me at the door. Ness and I were the last of the group to make it up to Esme and Carlisle's. I smiled happily as I saw all the people I loved in the same room.

Bella greeted me with a big hug and kiss on the cheek, while Edward, ever the gentleman, gave me a hearty handshake. Emmett and Jazz followed with slaps on the back and nooggies to the head. Ness laughed contently, as I grabbed her around the waist and kissed her. Seth and Embry had already found the food in the kitchen, and waved over mountains of chicken, macaroni, and lasagna, mumbling congrats.

Billy rolled over to me, playing the proud father role, "Jake, I am so proud of you; you've have made me so happy. I just wish Sarah was here to see all this." I fought back a brief wave of emotion, as I bent down and hugged my dad, and kissed him on the cheek.

Even Rebecca had made the rare trip from Hawaii and stood alongside her husband Roe, Rachel, and Paul. I fought the urge to hear the ever-satisfying crunch of his face below my fist as he kissed my sister. I'd never get used to that jackass.

Billy called to me, leading me to the Cullen's massive back deck. "Jake. So, have you decided what you're gonna do yet?"

I fidgeted, something I never did, knowing immediately what he was referring to. Billy had a way of making me feel like an 8-year-old without even trying.

"Well, I dunno Dad. I haven't heard anything back from Howard Morgan or HCI. There are a couple more that I'm waiting on before I make a decision."

"Jake, you know the council is meeting this week about all this. They want you to take a more, _permanent_ role, and you know what that means don't you?"

I refocused my attention on my father, then glanced away in contemplation; painfully torn with this decision.

I knew what it meant. It meant they wanted me to stay in La Push permanently. It meant I'd have to give up the things I'd come to want so much over the past four years, for the things they'd wanted from me my entire life.

I hesitated, "I know Dad. You know me, and you know I'll take care of it...just need time to think."

"I know, Jake, I know. But I want you to remember that your decision affects many. Remember who you are."

I closed my eyes, as my chest tightened. I let out deep breath and stared out into the darkening forest listening to Billy explain so many things that I'd heard over the years from him. From Harry; from the others. I nodded occasionally, feeling my mood begin to darken with the thickness of seriousness and responsibility.

Don't get me wrong. There was nothing better than running with my pack. Hearing the ever comforting sound of multiple heartbeats in my head. The vibration of paw to earth; wind in my face - crisp, cool air in my lungs. Being one with the earth.

And, of course, I loved helping around the rez; it was so much a part of me. I'd sat in on countless council meetings and even spoke when given the opportunity. I even think a small part of me enjoyed getting the respect I'd garnered recently. The way the tribe nodded respectfully as I walked our land. The way the teens immediately straightened their posture when I passed. The whispers of recognition and deference.

I just. I just don't know what to do. I just wasn't sure I was ready to give up what I'd worked so hard for.

One for many.

I swallowed my default impulse to phase, climb the banister, and take off into the woods. No. I wouldn't run. This was something I'd have to deal with. I'd have to come to a decision, and soon.

After talking with my dad for some time about my next steps after graduation, I started itching to get back into the party. I had already rolled up my sleeves and undone the first couple buttons of my shirt, but it was way too hot for Forks in May. I mean it was hot. It had to be at least 80 degrees, which was crazy considering the sun had dipped nearly entirely below the horizon. Plus, I was nervous.

I glanced away from our conversation after about 20 minutes, to see Alice's head pop out of the door, followed by Ness's.

"Hey guys, is this a party or is this a party?" Alice exclaimed in her musical voice. I smiled standing, and wheeling Billy back through the large doors.

"Hey, hey" I said laughing, my mood automatically lightening, "it's never a party until I get there, you know that." I walked to the kitchen, realizing I was starving, at the smell of Esme's chicken on the stove; I hadn't eaten since that afternoon before the ceremony. "Babe, I'm gonna grab something it eat," I said to Ness, "You need anything?"

"No, I'm okay. Go ahead Jake," she smiled, placing her hand on my chest, with a quick peck, "Don't be gone too long."

I strode over to the kitchen to get my fill. After a brief moment, I felt a tug at the back of my head - someone was pulling my now shoulder-length hair. I turned to see it was Rose.

"I guess they're handing out degrees to anyone nowadays, eh, dog?" _Here we go._

"Yeah, that would explain how you managed to get one, right Blondie?"

She scowled at me for half a beat, and then hugged me lightly, "Whoa there, now, let's not get ahead of ourselves." I said, feigning the need to push her away with a horrified look on my face.

"Shut up Jacob. I'm trying to congratulate you, you ass. I guess you can't teach old dogs new tricks," she said, an almost smile crossing her beautiful face.

"I'll take that, Rose. You're turning into a regular softy on me," I said winking at her. She rolled her eyes and went to join Em on the chaise in the corner of the room.

As I sat at the table, I glanced over, at Nessie as she spoke with her parents and Esme, glancing occasionally at me as I stuffed my face. I finished and walked over to stand next to her while she spoke. No. I wouldn't worry about all that now. Not today - I'd celebrate my accomplishment, and deal with it later.

She unconsciously turned her body towards me, to accommodate me. Over the years, we'd learned to welcome and adjust to each other's energy and presence. I noticed Edward looking strangely at Ness, and I wondered what the hell his deal was. After standing there for a few moments, I couldn't take it anymore.

"I just need to change out of these monkey clothes," I mumbled, turning towards the front door, "It's hot as hell; I'll be back in a sec."

I ran the half-mile to Ed and Bella's cottage, beginning to strip out of my shirt as I ascended the large staircase. I searched for my favorite ACDC t-shirt, and sandals. I snapped my head to the left, ears immediately perked as I heard a low sound coming from downstairs and smelled the familiar sweet aroma.

She was in front of me, kissing and biting my shirtless chest and working the fly of my dress pants before I could protest. Not that I ever would.

We'd been gone about 20 minutes. Long enough for me to bring both of us to quick, but heated climaxes, with Ness seated on top of my large dresser, and just before the partygoers (the human ones anyway) could notice we weren't there.

Ness hopped down quickly and readjusted her white lace panties, as I didn't bother taking them off, only moving them slightly to the side to accommodate me. Wordlessly, I finished changing and we ran back to the party with knowing smirks.

I suddenly realized what Edward's malfunction was: Ness must have been having some less-than-pure thoughts about me as I left the party. I turned to her with a chuckle.

"What?"

"Oh, nothing," I replied grinning.

After much celebrating, the party started to clear around 3AM. Billy and Charlie had already left around midnight, taking Sue with them. Leah had to get back to her fiancé, a man that, while he was no imprint-Sam held that title- she'd grown to love immensely, to all of our relief. I'm sure none of us mourned the loss of Leah's bitchy former self.

Jared and Paul stayed to help clean up, but left around 2am, congratulating me again and talking of a vamp versus wolf football game tomorrow afternoon; Seth, Embry, Quil, and Sam soon followed. I fingered the gifts that sat atop Ed's piano, among them, a set of classic historical journals from Carlisle, a platinum Cartier watch from Alice and Jasper, and plane tickets for a trip to Morocco from Ness.

"We can use them anytime within the year. I'm thinking for your birthday in December?" she'd said excitedly., "Maybe we can visit Ben and Kebi while we're out that way."

We'd actually grown closer to the Egyptian bloodsuc-, _uh, coven_, over the last couple years, though Amun hadn't really warmed up to us yet. Not that I was _that_ concerned.

"Sure, Sure, babe, Sounds good," I said, grabbing our bags.

I reflected briefly back to a rougher time for all of us. Getting back in the swing of high school once I'd returned from, what I now affectionately call my 'trip to Alaska' all those years ago was pretty tough. But, I got it together, and with the help of most of the folks standing around me now, I'd made good on Billy's hopes for me.

Ness came up to me, grabbing my hand, and showing me the two of us, back at my place, her laid on my chest.

"Well, you don't have to tell me twice," I said with smile. I thanked everyone again and packed all my gifts into my Mustang, opening the passenger side for Ness.

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**A/N- **It's an important time in Jake's life. I knew I wanted to include this in the story, as it humanizes Jake (well as human as a shape shifter can be.) This chap is for all the folks out there wondering what the heck Jake was doing after the Volturi left at the end of BD, and no – he wasn't Rosalie's lap dog.

**~~The Twilight Saga and all its characters are owned by Stephenie Meyer. I just make them do whatever I want them to. Dance puppets, dance!~~**

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	3. Chapter 2 – No Rest for the Weary

**Chapter 2 – No Rest for the Weary**

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Escaping the death-grip Ness's legs and arms had wrapped around my body, I made my way to my small kitchen for some orange juice, then reclined on my sofa and powered up my MacBook.

After scrolling through several random emails, there it was.

I excitedly clicked on the fifth row from the top and pulled up its content in my browser, scanning the text.

Blah, Blah, _Mr. Jacob E. Black..._

_Blah, Blah...HCI Technical Enterprises, Inc. is pleased to offer you a position as PI&CS Advanced Control Systems Engineer. We trust that your knowledge, skills and experience will be among our most valuable assets..._

My heart was soaring.

Watching the cursor on the screen blink past the last sentence. I crossed my legs at the ankle, and re-read the letter for the third time...

_...Should you accept this job offer, per company policy you'll be eligible to receive the following beginning on your hire date:_

_* Salary: Annual gross starting salary of $67,500, paid in biweekly installments by..._

_* Performance Bonuses: Up to three percent of your annual gross salary..._

_* Stock Options: 500 HCI stock options in your first year, fully vested in four years at the rate of 125 shares per year..._

I could feel the corners of my mouth involuntarily tugging upwards in a smile, escalading into an outright grin.

I was ecstatic.

Though HCI had been courting me since the beginning of my senior year at UW, with company towncar rides to Seattle to visit my future condo in Belltown, club seats with the VP of Development to a Seahawks game, and even a privileged sampling of the newest version of World of Warcraft, it was an entirely different thing altogether to see the actual offer with my name on it. _Sixty Grand!? Shit!_

Glancing up as I heard Ness stir in my bedroom, my attention was immediately refocused on the sunlight peaking through, casting lines of light and shadows across her body and beaming reds and golds in her hair.

I felt almost voyeuristic, watching her through the small opening of the door I'd left ajar.

My lime green comforter slid leisurely from her breasts as she stretched and yawned, rubbing her eye. She stepped silently from the bed and out of sight for a brief moment, coming back into view in a pair of my old boxers and an undershirt that just barely kissed her firm nipples.

My soaring heart stopped momentarily.

"Jake," with a pout, she gracefully glided towards me, "why aren't you in bed? I hate waking up without you. What are you doing in here, anyway?" she said, as I lifted my legs so she could take a seat on the sofa beside me.

"Good morning to you too, grouchy," I teased, kissing her soft neck, "I just got an email from Jon over at HCI."

Her eyes immediately lit up, "You did! What did it say?"

"They gave me an offer. Sixty seven, benefits, a BlackBerry, plus the company condo we went to see back in January."

"Aw, shit Jake! That's great!," she said moving my laptop and climbing into my lap. She was happy, I could tell, but I saw something else in her eyes. Uncertainty? Hesitation?

"What, babe? What's wrong?" I asked, kissing the corner of her mouth.

"Nothing, Jake, nothing. I'm so happy for you! All that, straight out of college!" she said with a smile.

I wasn't convinced.

"Ness, baby, tell me."

"I dunno, Jake, I mean, you know I'm happy for you...It's just, you know, we've been together, like every day since forever..... and... well, with my classes, and your new job, I don't know how we'll be able to see each other as much..." she said twirling stands of my hair in her small fingers.

I smiled, somehow happy at her admission; she really did love me. "Baby, I want you with me. I know you're still at UW, but of course I want you to stay with me. We'll both have to just make time, plus we can take trips back here together a lot to visit."

"Yeah... I already don't see my parents enough. Mostly the only reason I come back here as much as I do is because of you. What are we gonna do? What are _you_ gonna do? " I knew she was referring to my pack. She knew what was going on-- well, as much as I could rightfully tell her.

"Well, I have to do what's best for me right now and that's what I'm focusing on," I began, rubbing her thigh soothingly, "There's been peace for these last few years, and I think if there was a time to make this move, it should be now," I said looking down. "I'll try and split my time between Seattle and here."

I didn't believe it, even as it was spilling from my mouth. All those hours working and getting settled and time with Ness, I mean, how was I going to work this thing out?

She ran her fingers across the elaborate tribal tattoo that was etched across my upper arm and shoulder.

I continued, "We haven't gotten a scent that we didn't recognize in our area in over six months, and even then, they were passing through."

"And Billy?"

"Well, Rachel's been taking care of him more, plus, he's got Charlie and Sue. I'll be back a lot. I think things will work out just fine..." I said, as I traced the darkening circles under her eyes. "Have you hunted this lately?"

"No, not yet, I've just been so caught up in the excitement of the graduation and all..." she trailed off.

"Okay then, let's go. Throw some clothes on and we can get us some elk, huh?" I said nudging her to rise to her feet.

As walked towards the bathroom, I heard the shrill sound of my house phone ringing and padded my bare feet to the kitchen.

"Jake," I heard Paul begin, "we're all going down to First Beach later. Surf's supposed to be decent and it's been hot as hell lately."

"Sam and Emily bringing Naya and Caleb?" I knew Ness would love seeing the new baby and her 'favorite niece.'

"Yeah, it's everyone. Coming with?"

"Yeah, we'll be out that way later. What time you guys heading over?" I glanced at my silver wall clock - it was almost 10.

"In about an hour."

"Okay, sounds good." We'd have time to head out to Olympic Park maybe. I glanced to my bedroom as Ness slid into some stretch pants and a t-shirt.

"You feel like going to the beach?" I said leaning against the door frame, crossing my arms against my chest.

"Oh, yeah," she said with a smile, "Who was that?"

"Paul. Says the pack's headed over there in an hour."

"Okay then, we better get going."

***

Ness stood next to me, pulling her hair into a high messy bun. Once done, she closed her eyes and tilted her head upwards. I began stripping off my cutoff sweats and boxers, allowing the slow vibration to roll and overtake my body. Her head snapped to the left. She'd caught the scent.

I nodded intently, squinting my eyes against the sun, as it broke through the forest, "There are two, a male and female."

I took off, jumping from a fallen tree for leverage, and exploding before I could touch the ground. Ness was already three yards ahead of me. We ran blindingly fast; Ness, jumping almost horizontally off the trunk of a massive White Oak.

She overtook the female with no real effort, slicing through fur and skin and sinew; draining her dry within a minute. The male had taken off moments before; Ness stood and darted to the west in pursuit.

I stayed behind, tearing at the flesh of the female, finishing her and gnawing her bones, as Ness drug the male back, dropping him before me. She hopped over to where I stood and scratched behind my massive ears, with a kiss to my head. I pulled my black lips over my teeth in a wolfy grin.

***

Thoughtfully, I stood on the edge of the water, the fresh salty sea air whipping my hair away from my face and soothing me.

I considered a good time to catch a wave as I clutched my board under my arm. I listened to the flow of the water, watched as the waves crashed against the sand.

Sighing, I took the board in my hands, and ran towards the water, dropping to the ocean's surface and paddling out.

Here, I could think, there was no one but me. No thoughts but my own and I relished in it. Relished in the sound of my own heartbeat, in tune with the rhythm of my body's fluid twists and jerks and dips when I stood atop my board.

I'd come here countless times over the years to, I dunno - think, escape. I guess I'd learned since my phasing began how to channel my nervous energy and anger into more productive outlets.

Sure beat buying a brand new wardrobe every 2 weeks.

Besides resting my back on a creeper, repairing nonexistent issues underneath my Mustang or bike, the surf saved me from myself.

I must have been out here for longer than I thought, because before I realized it, I saw Ness was waving me back to shore. I hoped it was for lunch; I could hear the ever familiar groan of my empty stomach.

"Geez Jake, you've been out there for, like, 2 hours," Ness said with a knowing smile, handing me a turkey sandwich. She understood though. Sometimes I'd get so far into my head, I would be out here all day without coming to shore.

She pressed a quick peck to my lips and continued chattering on with Emily and Rachel about whatever it is they always seemed to talk about. I glanced toward the parking lot where Sam stood; without a word, I knew he needed to talk. _Yay_.

Adjusting my board shorts on my hips, I strode over to him, water droplets already evaporating from my scalding body heat.

"So," he began.

"So."

"You know Jacob, I'll never tell you what to do. I've always given the pack a choice. And, even though you lead us now, I think you can appreciate a few things I gotta say." I immediately thought of his recent decision. Sam would begin the gradual process to stop phasing. He'd told me at the end of last year when he found out Emily was expecting Caleb.

"I've been doing this whole thing for a while now, and, I'm tired," he continued, "But you? You're meant to do this, and you know that; I'm sure you know this better than most."

"I know, Sam. I've really been thinking this thing through and I always end up in the same place," I said looking out towards the water. "I feel the pull. I do. But how can I just ignore all the things I've accomplished?"

"And what of the things you've accomplished with us?" he said, quickly with edge in his voice, "You have to remember, Jacob, this is bigger than you. It's no accident that you're feeling the pull. I felt it too and it can be strong, I know." He said shifting his weight from one hip to the other.

I nodded and ran my fingers through my hair. This was hard.

"Sam, I do know. But, what I also know is that I've just been given a great opportunity -several of them, and I'm not just gonna shirk that. No way," I said quietly.

I moved my focus down to the edge of the beach, where the rest of the pack where goofing off. Seth had Jared in a headlock, pushing him into the water. Paul and Embry were wrestling. Emily held Caleb lovingly, as Ness was cooing and fussing over Naya.

So blissfully unaware they all were, while I stood on the edge of my very future, debating critical decisions that would affect them all immensely.

"Look, Jake," he said softening his tone, "I know this is hard for you. I'm sure it's been hard for everyone in your position. I want you to know I'm here for you, whatever your decision."

"Okay... thanks man." I said crossing my arms across my broad chest.

"Okay, enough of that," he said slapping me on my back with a smile. "Let's head back, I'm starved, and I think Em made some of her apple pie."

***

Ness and I rode back to my apartment in silence, as we sometimes did, thanks to her gift. She held my hand, replaying the highlights of the afternoon with a smile playing at the corners of her lips. After a while, though, she showed her concern at my distracted face, as I drove into my complex.

"I'm okay babe, I just have a lot on my mind right now."

"Well, Jake, you know I'm here, right?"

"Of course."

Later, Ness stood in my kitchen, stirring a pot of pasta sauce while I balanced a bottle of Miller Light on my stomach in a wicker chair on my balcony. She occasionally glanced in my direction with a smile or came out to check on me. I assured her I was okay, as I sat staring at everything and nothing in particular.

"Jake, babe, dinner's ready," she said softly on her last trip to make sure I was still alive, no doubt. I slid though the glass doors just as she handed me a large plate of ravioli.

"Thank you baby," I sighed. I really wanted to say more, but my brain was going a mile a minute, processing my dad and Sam's words. Not to mention all the comments the pack and the tribal elders had had over the course of the year.

After dinner we lay sprawled across my massive bed. "I gotta jump in the shower. I got sand and salt in every nook and cranny imaginable," she joked, raising herself up on her forearms. She kissed my cheek and began stripping out of her purple bikini and jean shorts.

She pulled the elastic tie from her hair, allowing it to fall to her shoulders in thick waves. Before I could say a word, she was walking away mussing her hair; her naked hips swaying seductively, leading to her full ass - reminiscent of an inverted heart. I smiled to myself, turning back to the television. After a quick second, I decided I needed a shower as well.

Why not conserve water?

I dropped my shorts to the floor and headed toward my bathroom.

"Knock, knock," I said as I entered through the steam. I caught sight of Ness through the glass encasement of my shower.

She had her hair piled on top of her head, rubbing peppermint shampoo through the strands. I stood watching her intently as the suds slipped over her shoulders. She smiled with a wink and turned her back to me. I stood, licking my lips, as the foam slid down her wet body.

I stepped into the stall, which luckily, was large enough for both of us. She licked her pink lips, rinsing the soap from her hair. She grabbed her shower gloves and handed them to me, taking mine in her hands.

"Can you help me?" she said innocently, "I can return the favor." She ran her hand up my chest, taking a moment to suck the center of my now wet sternum with those full lips.

I stretched the gloves over my large hands and began soaping her body, massaging her where appropriate. She followed my lead, mirroring my movements with my blue cloth.

After a while though, there was less actual washing, and more actual massaging. She'd wrapped her small fingers around my thick shaft, moving ever so slowly, as I lean her against the wall, my index and middle fingers in her hot wetness.

She pressed her waiting wet mouth to mine, whispering words of encouragement to me.

"Ssss, yeah... Jake," she breathed, "Mmmm... baby, that feels so good..."

Ness was becoming increasingly more aroused, sliding her hands over my chest and back hungrily.

"Yeah, I think we're done in here," I replied huskily with a smile, shutting off the shower.

I lead her back to the room, grabbing our towels and running one through my hair. She wrapped herself, quickly drying her body, which was flushed pink from the heat of the water.

I sucked and nipped the right side of her neck, then the left, as she cradled my head in her hands. Ness's breath caught in her throat as I took a palmful of her ass and brought her closer to me, my hardness pushing against her stomach.

I felt my pulse quicken when she dropped her hands and grabbed me by the waist to pull me toward the bed. She bent her knees and laid back, urging me excitedly to lie on top of her.

I brought my lips to her mouth, feeding her my thick tongue, and reaching down to squeeze her thighs. I took her full, perfect breast in my mouth, biting it softly, then licking and sucking each nipple.

"Oh... Jake, baby," she whispered. I trailed my fingers down her body and rubbed them across her center roughly, running each stroke from her entrance to her clit. She rocked her hips against my hand, making quiet choking noises at the back of her throat.

I shifted my weight against her and Ness gasped when I lead my mouth down her body, stopping at her hip bone to bite her roughly.

Finally, I paused at the sight of her folds, pink and swollen and wet. I inhaled deeply, saliva pooling in my mouth.

_Oh God,_ I'd never tire of _this_. I let out a low growl, closing my eyes.

"Ness, babe, you smell delicious."

My mouth found her and, starting at her dripping core, kissed and sucked her wetness. I licked my lips, then dragged my mouth upwards, swirling her clit with my tongue and nibbling it with my teeth ever so gently.

Ness fisted her hand in my hair, eyes focused intently on what I was doing to her body. With a cocky wink, I sped and added pressure to my pace. Her beautiful face grimaced as she moaned loudly.

"Ah," I mumbled, sliding my fingers into her. She was soaking. "I've hit baby's spot, haven't I?" She whimpered an incoherent response through her the back of her hand, which had flown up to her mouth.

I reached up, pushing her hand away, "No. I want to see you... And I _definitely_ want to hear you."

She was close. I could feel her tighten around my fingers, beginning to rock her hips rhythmically against my mouth.

Then, I stopped.

Reluctantly, I lifted my mouth from her cunt, licking her sweetness from my lips and fingers. Her eyes popped open, looking at me with a crazed, questioning stare.

"Jake! Don't stop baby, "she whined, "I was gonna..."

"...you were gonna what?" I teased, biting her inner thighs playfully.

"...I was about to... come," she replied, frustrated.

I waited an excruciatingly long five seconds, then plunged my face back into her folds, pulling her hood back and dragging my tongue over her clit, applying a stiff amount of pressure to her rapidly.

"Ah...ah...AHHHH...ssss...fuck!," her eyes rolled back, hips bucking, arching her back against me. I rode out her climax with my mouth pressed against her, sucking lightly, pulling out the spasms.

I grinned at her, watching her chest rise and fall rapidly. She laid, hands on either side of her head, staring at me through loving half-lidded eyes. I lowered my mouth to hers; she responded by grabbing my neck and feverishly kissing me back.

She moved her hips against me and I knew she was ready.

I reached between us and positioned the thick head of my shaft to her wet opening. She lifted her hips, plunging me into her. My body tensed with pleasure, goose bumps forming all over my body.

It was too good. She was too slick. Too warm. _God._

"Ah, Jake...baby," she moaned softly, "Ssss, fuck me, she breathed, grabbing my hips.

I ground into her slowly, hooking my arm under her shoulder, and gripping my headboard. Ness wound her hips against my length, moving with my strokes.

"...so good," she mumbled into my shoulder, kissing then biting me harder than I'd quickly licked the blood that she'd drawn, sucking the wound that had already begun healing itself.

"God...Jake... you taste fucking awesome..."

She rocked her hips faster against me, running her nails down my back. I knew she was on the verge of release; a faraway, focused expresion floating across her face.

She closed her eyes and slid her hands to either side of my face, transferring her pleasure to me, as I fucked her so thoroughly.

"Ah, Ness, baby," I moaned in her ear, "come for me... come on my dick."

That must have tipped her over the edge, because, in the next moment, I felt her contracting against my length, head acrhing back, "Oh, Jake...oh, Jake," she moaned over, and over.

_Damn_. Her voice was like liquid sex, pouring all over my body, hot and wet. I felt my own orgasm, building in my abdomen and sack, release into her in thick gushes.

I grinded into her, squeezing my eyes shut, my face contorting with pleasure. I thought my heart would fly out of my chest.

I looked down at her, a satisfied smile playing on her lips, sweat dripping from my body.

"Damn," she purred, kissing my lips sweetly, "stay right there."

I nodded and rested my head on her shoulder, still catching my breath. I could stay here forever, no problem. My mind floated away, and, before long, we had both drifted off, still coupled.

Around 3AM, I woke, unable to sleep.

I savored in the delicious sensation of sliding out of Ness. She was deep in the midst of RIM, mumbling my name incoherently and had somehow made her way completely on top of me.

Laying her onto her back gently, I walked into my living room and out to my balcony, feeling the cool early morning air against my bare body.

I wanted my brain to stop.

Like so many other times in my life, I felt the itch.

I needed to run.

.

.

* * *

**I LOVE REVIEWS!**

**~~ All Twilight Saga characters belong to Stephenie Meyer - not me. I'd be A LOT richer if they did. ~~  
**


	4. Chapter 3 – Coming of Age

**Chapter 3 - Coming of Age**

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I spent a good part of the next couple of hours standing alone on the edge of the forest outside my apartment, finalizing my decision. Through all of the discussion, I knew that in the end I could live with the decision, as long as I stayed true to myself first.

Unfortunately, I realized there would be no real sleep tonight, and I really didn't want to wake Ness just to keep me company through my insomnia. I needed a distraction, and luckily, I realized I could catch up with Quil and Leah who were running patrols east of Forks, not too far from my house.

"_Black._," Leah acknowledged my addition to our pack mind.

"_Clearwater_," I said.

"_Jake, what's up? I thought you were taking it easy this week? You know, celebrating_," Quil said, hopping over an overturned log.

"_I was. Couldn't sleep. Figured you guys might need a third_," I explained.

"_Things are pretty quiet around here to be honest," _Leah said.

"_Yeah, can't say I'm not happy about that though,"_ Quil agreed.

We trotted around the 20-mile perimeter for the next hour, coming to our rendezvous clearing, half a mile from James Island, where Seth, Sam, Paul, Jared, Embry, Colin and Brady had already begun gathering.

"_Guys, I wanted to talk to you about a couple things,"_ I began, glancing at Sam's black eyes for a moment, then turning to the rest of the pack.

"_What's up Jake?"_ Seth said excitedly.

"_Well, you all know I just finished up at UW-- "_

"_Whoohoo!"_ Quil exclaimed.

"_Alright, Jake!"_ Jared said.

"..._Alright, alright,"_ I said with a mental chuckle, _"...you know that apartment I took you guys to Seattle to visit a while back...and that company suite at the football game and all of that..."_

"_Yeah, they were all over you Jake,"_ said Embry.

"_That place was awesome!"_ said Quil, though Leah wasn't moved by my slow revelation of information.

"_Cut the shit, Black. What's this all about?"_

"_Damn, Leah, I'm getting to it..." _I started, anger rising._ "Well, they made me an offer, and, well, I'm gonna take it."_

"_That's great, Jake!" _Seth began. There was a hum of excitement within the group.

I guess this would be easier than I thought.

"_Wait a minute, Jacob,"_ Leah began, _"Isn't that job out in Seattle? It was already bad enough when you were in school. Are you gonna be able to keep up with the pack and work and travel back up to rez?"_

Leave it to Leah.

I looked to the forest for a brief moment, clearing my mind, my immense head tilting in thought.

"_We're at peace," _I began,_ "I mean, you've seen it around here; we've been running patrols, of course, because that's our job; its our duty, but we haven't seen action in almost a year_."

"_What about the Council? La Push?"_ Quil asked.

"_I'll speak to them about my decision this week,"_ I said looking at each of my pack members. "_It'll take some getting used to, but I know this is the best thing for me."_

"_...and what about what's best for us, huh, Jacob?"_ Leah said bitterly. While she'd always made my being compassionate with her so difficult, I saw past her harsh tone and understood her frustration and disappointment with me. So, I'd let this one slide. She'd been my Beta for so long, I knew even before now, this would be the most difficult for her. And Seth, though excited for me, was still so young and fiercely loyal to my position as Alpha.

"_You let __me take care of that_," I said trying my damnedest not to assert the conviction that was rising in my tone_. "I'll come back to handle pack business and lead, guys; this isn't an ending, but a beginning...__I'll always think of each of your best interests when making a decision. Never forget that."_

"But-" Leah began.

That did it.

"_I've thought this through and this is what will happen," _I cut her off, authority and finality in my inflection. _"This is my decision."_

Leah's whine and slight dip of her head made my heart lurch a bit, but it had to be done. I looked to the horizon, realizing that dawn was breaking through the trees, a peach hue casting an ethereal light on our faces.

"_Now, let's all get back. I'll keep you posted on my next steps."_

Seth approached me, nodding and running the side of his large head and muzzle against mine in an embrace. _"Don't worry, Chief. It'll all work out... with Leah, and everything. I know it will."_

The pack spread out, heading in separate directions, awareness of each of their minds slowly fading, indicating they'd phased back, until I could hear no one but Sam, who was sitting beside me as the sun rose in the sky.

"_I'll support you, no matter what you decide, Jacob. we're of the same blood,you and me, and I understand were you're at more than you may thing,"_ Sam said, looking to me with a knowing glance. _"And don't worry about them; we all trust your judgment."_

I nodded my understanding. I just hoped I trusted my own.

###

"Bells!"

"Jake!" Bella exclaimed to me as Ness and I entered the large archway of their foyer. I grinned widely as she jumped into my arms and I wrapped them warmly around her cold body, swinging her in a circle. I'd missed her, and this was one of the few times we'd have with no one to interrupt.

Bending to allow her arms to link behind my neck, I placed quick but passionate kiss on her lips. "I'll be back soon," I said with a wink.

I turned to Bella. "You about ready?"

Nessie hugged her, then ran to Edward, who'd been reading in the living room, kissing his cheek.

"Yep!" she replied excitedly. "Let's go before Edward changes his mind," she said in a whisper.

"I heard that!" he called. We both let out low snickers. "Jacob, when you return, I have a new arrangement by Ferd Morton I've recently come across. We can play a little later if you'd like."

"You bet, Ed. Looking forward to it," I said. Among many things, Edward had taught me to play the piano while I was still in undergrad. I'd found a whole new appreciation for jazz music through our lessons. You haven't lived until you've brushed your fingers over a baby grand, playing _In a Sentimental Mood*._

Bella and I headed to the garage, joking and laughing the entire time. We had standing dates to ride bikes at least twice a month. She still remained one of my closest friends, and now that she was pretty much disaster-proof, it made the ride so much easier. Still couldn't seem to get completely used to that smell though-and trust me, I had tried. A lot.

I ran my fingers through my hair and cranked my black Suzuki Hayabusa**, **enjoying the loud roar exploding in the quiet forest air. Bells started her red one, adjusting her jeans into the riding boots she wore. I glanced down at my reflection in the shiny paint below me and smiled. Bella'd bought both bikes about six months back as her early birthday gift. I wasn't complaining.

"Now....I'll try to go slow. I know how hard it is for you to keep up," she said with an arrogant smile as she took off down the paved path, leading to the deserted access road a few miles from the house that overlooked First Beach.

I laughed, revving the motor and taking off behind her, shooting from zero to 80 within seconds. Bella was insane, I have to say. She took the dips and hills of the narrow road at a blinding speed, hugging the curves just inches from the ground. I couldn't let her get the best of me though, so I matched her, trick for life-threatening trick.

Later, I twirled a smooth rock over my fingers absentmindedly, as we sat on the edge of steep cliff just over the beach.

"So, I was thinking you could cook dinner this Sunday. Maybe we can invite Charlie and Billy too, make it a family thing," I said.

Bella smiled her charming smile, and turned her golden eyes out toward the ocean. "I think I'd like that, Jake. It never seems like I see either of those guys enough anymore."

"Yeah, I hear you. How are things with you guys anyway? We never really got a chance to talk at the party."

"Things are good. Edward is planning a trip out to South America in a few months, so, we're making preparations for that. How are you? How's Ness doing? You've been keeping my daughter away so much, I'm afraid she'll have another growth spurt or something, and I won't recognize her anymore," she joked.

I immediately thought back to the night Ness and I realized we wanted more from each other than just my being her consummate babysitter-brother-uncle.

* * *

I'd stood, towel around my waist leaning over my bathroom sink. I was shaving in preparation for a dinner date with Melissa, a girl from campus I'd been seeing for a couple months. Ness had physically matured to about 18 or 19 at that point, and sat curled up in my favorite armchair, reading _The_ _Awakening_ for the umpteenth time. She'd been glancing at me throughout the afternoon with a curious look on her face. Though aware that I was dating, today was different. Her look was pained.

Those years patiently being Ness's best friend and protector obviously went by rather quickly, but I was a guy, and constantly hanging with my child-imprint was kinda, well, odd for me at times.

While to look back then, I can never imagine caring for any other woman but Ness, I had romantic needs that she was just unable to meet for me at that point-- not that I'd wanted her to. I mean, she _was_ just a kid. But even being the annoying little girl she was back then, those women never held the minutest of chances at ever having my heart the way she did. Never.

Not to mention, Ed had made it so difficult for the two of us-- his telepathy definitely caused serious issues with our burgeoning emotions. Those late nights causally lounging in her room soon gave way to the glances...and then, her hand would brush mine, or my eyes would linger longer than they should on her long legs in her ratty shorts, and well, it just wasn't good for any of us. I just figured I'd back off and she'd make that decision for herself once she was an adult, and once she did (_I prayed to_ _God that she please make the right decision_), I'd be there immediately to be the man she wanted in her life.

Ness rose to her feet and met me at the door of the bathroom, hands resting on either side of the door frame.

"Jake," she said quietly.

"Mmmhmm?" I said, pulling my face taut in the mirror, distracted by the last few strokes of my shave.

"Jake, look at me," she said. I bent down to rinse the foam from my face, patting my cheeks dry with the hand towel hanging from a metal ring on the wall.

"Yeah, Ness," I sighed, slightly annoyed. "I'm trying to get ready here I'm already la-"

She looked at me for a long moment, dragging her brown eyes up from the floor to meet mine. She gazed into my eyes with a sharp intensity that felt like she was searching for something. Her exploration soon gave way to pain, a look that felt as if she was seeing me- the real me- in the most simplistic way.

She looked through my eyes and into my spirit.

I tried to swallow the lump forming in my throat.

She reached up and held either side of my face, as she'd done so many times, and I felt a wave of emotion wash over me.

'_I love you,' _she thought, her intensity resonating with seriousness. This wasn't brotherly love at all, though. She loved me deeply, her thoughts stirring things inside me for her that I never knew were there. My head was spinning.

"Stop this, Jacob...I don't want you to leave me now," she said, eyebrows furrowed, a pained expression on her delicate features.

I was putty.

"I love you... stay with me. I don't want you to be with anyone else but me," she said, placing her small hand over my heart. "Please."

She was crying, and my heart was aching. I felt a fierce need to comfort her and love her and protect her all at once. I felt the love I'd held for her for so long transform immediately. I loved her intensely, and it terrified me.

"Ness," I said pleading with her, trying to wipe the tears from her eyes, "Ness... I... I love you too, please don't cry. I love you."

I grabbed her wrists, placed them behind my neck and slid my hands carefully down to hold her small waist. She stood on her tiptoes, hesitating for just a moment, then bringing her parted lips to mine.

It was like magic.

I felt the electricity transfer.

Every nerve ending on my body began pulsing and thumping. She offered her tongue to me and I took it greedily. I wrapped my arms around her tightly, trying to take the pain away. Trying to keep her as mine, and make sure she never left me.

'_Please, Jacob,' _she mentally begged, tears still streaming. I knew what she wanted. I wanted it too, though I wasn't sure I was ready to give it to her.

How long had she felt this way? How long had I not seen the woman she had so obviously become? How much pain had she been enduring as I dated other women and lived my oblivious college-guy experience?

We were kissing. I was _kissing _Ness. And in the next moment, all our past familial feelings were lost in my mind. I'd forgotten the little girl I'd watch run around the cottage being chased by Edward or being thrown in the air by Emmett. Gone was my attachment to the kindergartener I'd walk the beach with or the adolescent I'd taught how to repair an engine.

Those moments were distant memories, because in this moment, Ness - my Ness - was the woman I painfully and completely loved.

I cautiously reached down and hooked my forearms under her knees, lifting her to eye-level. She wrapped her legs around my waist and pressed a thousand kisses over my lips and face as I lead her to my room. I set her down, and she refused to part her lips from mine.

I pulled the pin holding her hair in place loose, letting it fall to her shoulders. She looked so innocent, and so sexy. I held her, kissing away the tears from her cheeks.

"I want this, Jake. I'm ready," she said stepping back from our embrace. With unsure hands, she raised her thin t-shirt over her head, revealing the teal lace cupping her full breasts. She pulled me forward, placing my hands on the fly of her jeans. I obediently undid them, sliding them to the carpet.

I squeezed my eyes shut. How could she look this amazing and I not see it before this moment? Her graceful neck curved elegantly, begging to be kissed and revered, leading to her beautiful collarbone. Her breasts were perfect and firm, I noticed, even through the bra displaying the soft flesh straining against its thin material. Her small waist lead to the deliciously feminine curve of her hips. And her legs?

Oh _God_.

I breathed deeply, and my mouth watered at her sweet, rich smell, mixing with her arousal that was no doubt pooling in her thin matching panties.

A thousand thoughts ran through my mind in that moment. Namely, how the hell was I gonna tell her parents what I'd done- what we'd done? Ness was untouched before tonight, and there would be no hiding this. No way.

Pushing that thought aside, I ran my fingers over her shoulder, then pressed them into the soft skin of her flat stomach. She grabbed my hand and raised it to her lips, kissing each finger, and sliding them into her hot mouth.

I. Was. A. Goner.

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I was brought back to the moment by a warm breeze rustling the leaves around us, causing the trees to sway in the distance.

"Ness is good. You know, things are getting pretty serious," I said. "And I'm thinking of taking a job offer in Seattle soon."

Bella looked at me briefly, then let out an superfluous breath from her lifeless chest, "That's big, Jake. I'm so proud of you, and so happy."

"Thanks Bells, hopefully things go well. I'm really excited, and kinda nervous, you know?"

"Of course you are, Jake, this is a big step in your life. I know everything will go great, though. I can't say I'm not a little sad. I'd gotten so used to you around the house, the echo of an empty fridge," she said smiling.

I lightly nudged her with a chuckle. "Speaking of which, come on, let's get back; I'm starving."

I glanced around the room, taking in the various jovial conversations of those around me. I looked to Ness and she squeezed my hand gave a bright smile, transferring words of encouragement to me. I figured now would be as good a time as any. I could do this.

I tapped my fork softly against my glass. "Okay, everybody....I know that I've talked to most of you about my plans after graduation. I've taken the time to really think it through, keeping each one of you in mind with my decision... and, I've decided to take a position with HCI."

"Oh, that's wonderful, Jacob," Esme said happily, hugging me.

Overall murmurs of congratulations from everyone filled the air. After all, pretty much everyone was aware of this - well, almost everyone. I'd yet to tell Billy, and I guess somewhere in me, past the pack leader, future council director and chief, was a nervous 8-year old too afraid to tell his father a decision in private.

I glanced at Jasper first, and could see a pained expression on his face as he flitted his eyes to my father.

"What, Jacob?" Billy began, closing his eyes, and shaking his head, searching for comprehension. "I don't understand." His authoritative tenor cut through the cheers and happiness and suddenly you could hear a pin drop.

"Dad, what do you mean?" I said with a smile, trying unsuccessfully to lighten the turning mood.

"I mean, I don't understand how you can move all the way to Seattle. What about your responsibilities here?" Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Carlisle and Esme ushering the rest of the Cullens outside. Guess they didn't want to be a party to this any more than I did.

I swallowed, glancing at Quil's furrowed brow. "Well Dad, I've thought this through and I've taken all that into account. I know how much I'm needed here. But I also know what my duty as a man is...to do what is best for my future."

"So, you're saying your future does not lie here?"

"No Dad...I'm planning on coming back often, working on the rez. This is just a step I have to take now. I'll be back."

"Jacob, do you know how many people have said that same thing? How many kids have left, promising to come back after they did what they needed to do?"

Billy continued in Quileute. "And what's worse is who _you_ are. You're not just some other kid, going off to enjoy their youth - you're my _son_," he said beating his fist against his chest, "...our blood runs deeply here."

"Dad, that's not going to happen, no way," I followed in Quileute. "I know who I am,who_we_ are, but I am a man. I know what my responsibilities are, and I understand my place....but I want you to know that I didn't put in all of that work at UW just to come back to La Push and work on cars."

As I stepped back from the heated conversation with Billy I regretted that statement as soon as the misspoken words spilled from my lips. I looked to Quil and Embry with apologetic eyes, but the damage was done. I'd have to make up for that, definitely.

"Son, there is nothing I can do to keep you here. It was my hope that I had raised you to understand what's important, beginning with _our _people and our traditions. University was supposed to make our people stronger, but being there has made you lose your way. Choosing money and possessions over your responsibilities."

"Dad-" I began

"No, Jacob. No," he said sharply, "I understand. You will speak with the council tomorrow. Since you're a _man_, it's your job to explain your decision," Billy said, wheeling towards the front door. Charlie followed closely behind him.

My knees almost gave out.

I felt the emotion forming on my face. I looked around to the brown faces around me. Disappointment, sadness, anger. I couldn't bear any of them.

With a pained look, I turned my back on the group, allowing the hum, then vibrations to wrack my body. In a half-second, I flew out the back door and onto the deck, clearing its four-foot edge in one stride. "Jake, don't!" I heard Seth's fruitless muffled plea echo from the house.

I jumped, my clothes a distant memory.

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**D****on't forget to review!**

…**Stephenie Meyer Owns the Twilight Saga and all its characters, and she isn't me.  
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	5. Chapter 4 – The Animal Within

_**A/N – **_I think I'm closest emotionally to this chapter so far. It includes a flashback to a difficult time in Jake's life following the epilogue of Eclipse. He does some soul-searching and soon finds a deeper understanding of himself and his relationship with Billy.

**Epic shout out to my awesome Beta, Hopeful Wager.**

_**~~Stephenie Meyer owns everything, and I own nothing. A sad but true fact.~~**_

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**Chapter 4 - The Animal Within**

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I ran, a flurry of copper fur darting in and out of the trees, hopping over fallen branches, trampling in watery troughs through the woods with which I felt so akin. Everything around me whirred past my body at a lightning pace, creating a hyperdrive warp vacuum that sucked me in drew me to the place I had known so well.

My paws involuntarily slowed to a walk once I came to the place I'd been so many times I could find it without thinking.

Toleak Point.

I gazed my dark eyes over the steep cliffs, sitting on the edge, just inches away from the ledge. Crazy enough, with my face to the wind, being here had always made me feel like I was flying, like I was the only person in the world.

Being human was so hard.

Staying human? Even harder.

Angry. Depressed. Heartbroken. Being emotional while in human form was like contracting a muscle. It _burned_ after a while.

Letting the sweet allure of phasing engulf me was like releasing that muscle after holding it tight for so long. Release. _Relief_.

I didn't have to _try_ to phase; I had to force myself not to.

After all this time, I still defaulted to my wolf self.

So many steps forward, yet, I still held on to the pull, the lure of my animal.

He always comforted me, or rather, I never felt the need to be comforted while he and I were one.

FUCK! Why couldn't I just be normal and deal with my emotions like normal people did?

All this time. _Eight years_.

Of course, I'd controlled the phasing. Pretty-damn-well, I'd say. Better than most ever have.

But remaining human while my emotions where bouncing around inside me?

Yeah. Not so much.

When I thought about my darkest time- all those months away - I'd ran and ran until my paws were raw and my legs were weak. I'd ran until I couldn't feel anything anymore, until my little house in La Push was just a distant memory. I just had to get away. I had to escape the ripping in my chest.

I used to feel so dejected for running away. So... _weak_. But now? Now I look at it as a time when I really figured out who I was: the man without, who constantly struggled to squelch the desires of the animal within.

You know, I found a pack of wolves to live with all those years ago.

Well, not really live with them, but we had a bit of an _understanding_.

They promised not to gang up on me.

I, a lone wolf who was considerably larger than each of them, promised not to attack unprovoked and not to hunt over-zealously. A treaty of sorts.

How ironic.

After the last time I'd left, I found it harder and harder to find my humanity, and thus, found the ability to communicate with the wolves on a primal level. It was way too easy living like this - no unrequited love; no rez to protect, no leeches.

Eat.

Sleep.

Repeat.

After long, I'd learned how to tune out the mental hum of my kwoli and their concerns for my safety. My state of mind.

It's funny what regret and bitterness can do to your brain.

I remember one morning. I sat overlooking a massive mountain range in what I now believe was the remote outskirts of Victoria, British Columbia. I went over and over what I could have done to make things go differently. I remember thinking of the mess I'd made of my life and the path I'd dragged my pack down behind Bella and the Cullens. How could I look my pack in the face again? The pain of disappointment burned in my chest, though I quickly and effortlessly pushed it away.

I'd caught the scent of an elk on a gentle breeze. A large one.

And I was ravenous.

My eyes darted quickly across the forest, then finally, I located him. And he was a sight. Eight feet tall, no less than 700 pounds. He stood, head bowed to the nearby stream, lapping water into his mouth.

_Yes_.

My tongue ran across my toothy muzzle as I moved in on him, noting the direction of the wind, and standing down, as not to alarm him.

...though I wouldn't have minded a chase, given the way I was feeling that morning.

_Virile_.

I quietly closed the distance, creeping... slowly. I was no less than 50 feet from him. Senses alive, on fire with the hunt, my heart banging against my ribs.

Suddenly, he darted his head in my direction - must have caught my scent - and dashed away.

Even better. Meal on wheels.

Game. On.

I crouched, then sprang after him. He was a fast one though, nimbly darting around the forest - but _I_ was faster.

It didn't take much. I attacked his side, nipping and biting him, careful to steer clear of those massive antlers. He gave up a fight but I quickly lunged for his throat, shaking my head with a quick snap, breaking his neck. I brought him to the ground and began my meal, tearing into his warm, pliant flesh; a satisfied growl rumbling in my throat.

"OH!" A clipped, breathy whisper floated on the wind. I snapped my head up from my repast to find a young woman- no doubt a hiker- staring at me, paralyzing fear in her brown eyes.

She reminded me of Bella.

She took a measured step backwards, as to not alert me. Her arms at her sides, balancing her small frame, her steps became larger, faster. She wordlessly tugged on the plaid coat of her companion, a guy following closely behind her.

She was terrified of me.

Of _me._

He grabbed her tightly, forcing her behind him protectively, and then, as fast as their weak human legs could carry them, they ran away.

I could imagine what she'd seen through those eyes, though: a giant wolf who'd taken down a nearly thousand pound animal within moments. But, afraid of me? Jake was a protector, _the_ protector. That was the moment that brought my humanity rushing back to me.

I dropped my head, feeling almost _ashamed_, blood dripping from my teeth, and suddenly, though I'd never admit it, I felt frighteningly like, well... nevermind.

Was I a monster? Had he finally taken over me? Had the animal within prevailed? No. I had a pack to lead and a family to take care of. I had people to defend. I had friends and a future. Yes, he and I were the same in physiology, but we were _not_ the _same being._

After that moment, I'd slowly allowed my awareness of our pack mind to seep back into my consciousness. Days passed of my listening intently for moments, contributing in others. I wandered, mindlessly at first, but then, with a mission back to where I began. I followed the voices.

It was Leah who talked me, with no judgment, into finding my way completely back home. She knew where my mind was and knew most of where my trip had taken me over all that time. Each of us were just a life-changing event away from phasing for good and disappearing into the nearest clearing. How could she look at me through critical eyes?

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As I wandered around Forks following that disastrous dinner, I thought about my father mostly. About his words that hurt me so deeply - much deeper than I'd ever thought they would have.

Was I once again wandering? Attempting to escape in search of myself? How could he ever question my allegiance to my tribe, though? To _our_ tribe? We were one in the same, my fathers, _our_ fathers, fished these waters, splintered their fingers, bending wood and forging great things with sweat on their brows.

I remembered tagging along to tribal council meetings when I was just a kid. My long braid whipping down my back with a toothless grin; he'd brought just me with him on those Saturday mornings - something that my sisters and mom weren't a part of.

Billy and I had a great relationship, but it grew so much after I'd gotten older and started phasing. He'd told me once when I was about twelve that I had a warrior spirit. The grin across my face was a mile wide, and, as I packed my small leather bag of essentials I'd need to survive in the forest those following few weeks, I held strong to that knowledge. I soon learned that my taxilit* was one of not only warrior strength, but of discernment and justice and leadership.

I'd felt so close to him then; something so much deeper than father and son. We held the core secret of our tribe- we were descendants of the last leaders of our land. When he spoke, people listened, and soon, they began listening just as intently to my words.

I respected him more than as just my father. He was wise, sharp, and fair; he was everything I wanted to be. I wanted to make him proud so badly. I'd wanted to achieve all that had been hoped for me because, well, I was his only son.

I wasn't the same kid anymore, though, out in the wilderness, searching for answers from those that I knew had been where I was and had lived so much longer than I had. Billy had had his life. He'd had his wife, his children. He'd had the opportunity to live his own life, his own way. He'd made his choices, most of them much different that the ones I'd made since I was sixteen. Now, I wouldn't let him stand in the way of me being able to live my life, my way.

Finally, around twilight, I trotted over to the edge of the woods behind my apartment building and found a pair of sweats, a sleeveless shirt and my favorite flip flops stacked in a neat pile behind a large rock.

Ness.

I took the clothes in my mouth and, behind a tree, phased and dressed. I felt both dread and the extreme need to see her in this moment. My strides quickened with that need as I took the stairs leading to my top floor apartment two at a time.

I opened the unlocked door to meet her awaiting eyes from the couch. The television was on, and it cast a blue tint on her face in the darkened room. She'd been asleep, but I was sure her sensitive hearing and smell woke her as soon as I'd hit that tree to change.

I blinked once, and with vampiric speed, she was on me, cooing and fussing, and running her fingers through my hair.

"Jake, baby, I was so worried," she began, kissing my lips. "I'm so sorry about Billy." She showed me the scene at Esme and Carlisle's, just as she'd re-entered the living room, my back to her running away from the house.

"I'm okay, I'm okay," I said, trying to reassure her. This was actually one of the times where that wasn't a load of BS. I wrapped my arms around her, tilting her head back and kissing her full lips.

She looked at me, running her palms up and down my arms. She slid her hands to my face and showed me how she'd driven my car back to the apartment. How she'd spoken with Bella and how she'd assured Ness that I was fine, that I just needed some time.

Ness knew better than to be worried about me or my safety. She was worried about my fight with my dad, about me emotionally.

She glanced away. "Jacob, you can't keep doing this to me. I can't always worry about where you are or if your phase is the last time I'll see you for months."

"Babe, you know I wouldn't do that," I said, craning my head to look directly in her eyes.

"Do I, Jake? Do I know that?"

"Ness, I would never leave you, you have to know that."

She broke away from me, the first time since I'd re-entered the house, turning her back and wrapping her arms around herself.

"I...I just don't know if I can deal with this Jake. You're always with Embry or Quil or running off, or at the beach. And I stood by you because I knew that my Jake, crazy, silly Jake, would come back from what he's going through right now."

My heart sunk. I knew I didn't have a leg to stand on. I'd seen my mood darken, me becoming more introspective in these last couple months. I was just so stressed about getting out of school and getting this job, and the council. I just needed to get away, some time to think. I _was _always at the garage or on the rez or doing whatever bullshit I had to, dragging her behind me. I'd been a bit selfish.

"I have class starting up again in a few weeks, and when we get to Seattle, how can I trust that you won't run off again? I don't want to be alone, Jake. I always want you near me. And, well, I'm... scared." I could smell the saline even before her quiet sobs began. She quickly wiped them away; Ness was tough. I'd only seen her cry a handful of times, and at least two of them were because of me. There was nothing worse than seeing a woman I loved cry, especially over some jackass move I'd made.

"Ness, I..." I reached for her and she jerked her arm away from my reach.

"No, Jake, no. I'm fine and I know you're fine, or at least I hope you are," she turned her eyes to me, "and you know, I know this whole thing just goes with the territory. I know that Rachel and Emily have to go through the same things with the other guys. But... that doesn't make it any easier, when I'm left here."

"Renesmee." She immediately looked up at me. I never called her by her full name. "I'm sorry. I know. You _have_ been right there with me through all my bullshit. Baby, you have to understand where I'm coming from though."

"I do, Jake," she said softening, "I do. We don't have the most normal situation ever. And I know how much sacrifice you make daily for everyone, including me, just being with me..."

"Ness, it's no sacrifice, so stop it," I said. "You're a part of me, and I _love_ you. I just...I just need a second. I'm in up to my neck right now, you know?"

"I know. Jake, I know," she said placing her forehead against my chest and gripping my shirt, "and I'll support you through all this. I just had to tell you how I've been feeling," she said through her tears. She grabbed my neck and crushed her lips to mine, wrapping her arms around my neck and pressing her body against mine.

This was ridiculous, the way my body responded immediately. Was this a Jake and Ness thing or, like an imprint thing? Resting her cheek against my chest for a few moments, she let a purr escape from her throat.

Painful as it was, thank God we'd had this conversation with Carlisle when all this began. After that first night, I think everyone anticipated our lack of control and wanted to take the necessary _precautions_.

"Look babe, it's late, and you already know I forgive you," she mumbled into my mouth through her kisses. She began lifting my shirt above my head. I tugged the collar pulled it the rest of the way off. She drug her eyes up and down the length of my body and smiled approvingly, raising a perfectly arched eyebrow and clicking her lips.

She ran her palms down the front of my body, following the trail with a string of open-mouthed kisses lead by her tongue.

She was trying to kill me, I was sure of it in this moment.

She led her fingers to my lips and I took them into my mouth, rolling them over my tongue and sucking lightly. She slid them from my mouth, quickly, roughly untying the string of my sweats, and placing my hands underneath the oversized t-shirt she wore. I glanced down.

She had on the tiniest black panties, the kind that had those almost invisible strings stretched over her hips, held together by two small, insignificant triangles of cotton. Shit.

I hooked my thumbs under those strings and jerked them down her body, simultaneously pulling her shirt over her head. Ness pushed me towards the couch, sliding my sweats over my hips and onto the floor. She placed her hands on my shoulders urging me to sit, and I complied, taking each of her breasts in my mouth as she stood in front of me. She roughly threaded her fingers through my hair, tugging my head back, forcing her nipple from my lips.

Ness brought her hot mouth to mine, and I instinctively found her wetness with my fingers. I heard her breath catch in her throat. She grinded her hips against my fingers, pushing me back against the sofa. Taking my erection in her comparatively small hands, Ness rubbed her thumb across its smooth head, bringing her finger to her lips and licking it hungrily.

"Mmmm," she purred, closing her eyes for a brief moment. She opened them and refocused on my face, straddling my lap and reaching down with one hand to position my length at her opening, the other pulled her folds apart. I held her hips, watching this action in reverie, guiding her to sit, and oh, _God_, did she sit.

It took every ounce of willpower in me not to squeeze my eyes shut, but I _had_ to look at her. Reaching up to use my shoulders for balance, she bent her knees, and eased onto my shaft, bouncing ever so slightly, trying to take the full size of me into her. After a few slides up and down, she finally sat parallel with my hips, with me deep within her.

"Ssssss," I said, jaw tightening, as squeezed the soft skin of her back. I rocked against her, thrusting against her rhythm, my toes immediately curling under.

"Oh, God, Jake," she whimpered, throwing her head back as she rocked her hips against me forcefully. As much stamina as I had, looking at her- her breasts bouncing from her pace- I wanted to release deep into her immediately. This position always did me in...she just looked so hot and so... raw.

She began riding me faster, pulling her wetness the length of me to the tip, then sliding down. Over and over, she slid, each pass making her so much wetter around my shaft. She was dripping.

She moaned and mumbled a host of incoherent obscenities and words of lust and sex, brushing her lips lightly across my ear. Her first climax came and went quickly and powerfully, as it often did from this angle, though mine took a little more time.

After hours of making love in my spacious living room-as well as on the dining room table... and floor, we were both spent, finally collapsing into bed around dawn.

Ness- hair wild, skin glowing- stretched and curled her pouty lips into a contented smile, kissing me deeply.

"God, I love you," she said, reaching for my length and stroking it lovingly. Placing her hand on my cheek, she showed me a few more positions we'd never tried. I guess I could give it a go one more time.

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**Chapter End Notes:**

_*****_Quileute people wanted to find their _taxilit_ or their personal spirit guardian power. They would often send their youths on spirit quests to find their own personal _taxilit._ When these youths were on these quests, they couldn't be used in the villages. The lives of the Quileute people were full of many spiritual rituals and helped to guide and inspire them. http:// www. u-s-history. com/pages/h1565. html

**I LOVE REVIEWS! They're even better than spirit quests and night-long/early-morning romps with your imprint!**

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	6. Chapter 5 Fire and Water

**Chapter 5 – Fire and Water**

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Miles before we'd reached it, I inhaled the familiar smell of salt water and sand and wood set ablaze. It had always reminded me of summer on the rez, and, well, since it was in fact summer,this time was no exception -- memories of years past rushed back to me all at once.

It didn't take much convincing from the pack to get me and Ness down to First Beach; there was a wicked surf stirring, and the weather was perfect. I wasn't surprised at all when Seth called late afternoon with the plans; I'd bet the beach was already packed by the time we'd probably arrive around 5:30.

Ness packed up some burgers to grill and I brought my longboard just in case, strapping it to the roof of my car - maybe I could get a few minutes in the water before it was too dark to surf.

"Hey, babe, can you grab that blanket next to you, the blue one?" Ness said slinging her bag over her shoulder and with little effort, balancing a case of bottled water in her arms. Her strength never ceased to amaze me, and, even though I was considerably more capable in that department, she insisted on handling things like carrying moderately-heavy items, slapping my hands away when I reached to help her.

So stubborn. _Just like her mother._

Once all piled into the Mustang, we headed toward the water. I absentmindedly thrummed my fingers against my leather steering wheel imagining I sat fingering the keys of my piano to the melody of _The Fixer* _drifting through the speakers. Glancing intently at the bending road, I realized I was becoming increasingly excited to arrive. Offhandedly, I mentally ran through the exact explanations I would come up with and subsequent responses for any objections at the upcoming council meeting.

Tradition was something I'd had always ran from. Well, let me correct that - something I always went into tentatively. I mean, the last thing any teenager wanted to acknowledge as truth was his life tied to a history that spanned centuries, and his piece of that history was the leadership of an entire people.

Me. Leading it all.

Being Quillayute was something so much a part of me, no different than the ruddiness of my skin or my jet black hair. I often took it for granted, my culture, I'll admit, but now, as I got older and so much was expected from me as both a man and the leader of so many, I'd found myself coupling the importance of what Jacob wanted and needed in life, and what would be best for hundreds of others. That kind of pressure was tough to deal with.

_Stop it Jake. _I silently chastised myself. No, tonight was going to be fun, and really, who gave a shit about that right now anyway? No council, no Billy, no new job. This was one of the last few times I'd get with the pack before real life set in and I got a whole new set of adult-type responsibilities - something I was _not _looking forward to in the least. I chuckled, shaking my head, an amused smirk playing at my lips.

"What?" Ness questioned, matching my smile, glancing at the road ahead. I'm sure she'd thought something in the darkness was causing my distraction.

"Nothing, I'm just happy…."

She smiled in return, lacing her fingers in mine and replaying the last time we'd been at First Beach together alone, me, trying again, to teach her to surf a little over a month ago. I smiled at the memory; try as she might, Ness, was definitely not a surfer, though, I'd be more than happy to continue to teach her - anything to see her smile, be close to her, all wet and slick.

It's a win-win all around.

I caught the thumping sound of drum and bass as we wheeled into the already packed lot, teeming with cars. Ness adjusted the blue bikini strings at the back of her neck, flipping down the passenger seat visor and getting one last look at her auburn hair in its reflection. Flashing a killer smile at me, she grabbed her drawstring bag from the back seat and reached for the door. I followed her lead, stepping from my car and side-stepping a large pothole in the pavement.

_Something else I'd have to talk to the board about getting fixed..._

Glancing around for who I did or didn't recognize, searching for the pack, I looked down at Ness, pursing my lips and holding back a smile, nodding in the direction of Embry's truck. He sat there, cab door let down, feet dangling in front of him, lips connected with a Makah girl I'd seen around a few times standing between his legs. His hand was snugly tucked in the back pocket of her barely-there jean shorts, and, from what I could tell, they were rounding 3rd base.

"Hey, Call…get a room, assclown!" I yelled with a grin, draping my arm around Ness's shoulders as she looked up at me with those eyes, her own grin splayed across her face. He glanced up for a brief moment, shooting me a thumbs-up, before curling it into a middle finger. Laughing, Ness and I descended the worn wooded stairs that led to the beachfront, losing our shoes in the process; the feel of cool sand between my toes was a feeling I would never tire of.

Billows of smoke floated into the night air above the dancing flames of the bonfire, casting an amber glow on familiar faces of the crowd gathered around. Ness glanced across the fire smiling and waving at Kim and Emily, then quickly placed a peck on my lips and ran to greet them.

"Yo, Jake!" Quil called, motioning me to join him, Seth, Sam and Jared.

"What's up?" I jerked playfully to the left then took off in a running jump towards the group, stopping a moment before crashing into them. Jared gestured as if he was gonna backhand me, faked right and smacked the back of my head.

"Yo, Black," Paul questioned with a grin, "when is Ness gonna get a clue and quit dealing with your lame ass?" He glanced in her direction wagging his eyebrows and licking his lips suggestively.

"Right after my sister realizes what a douche you are, asswipe," nudging his face with the palm of my hand, I punched him in the gut. Chuckles from the group ensued.

Our banter continued for the duration of the next hour or so. Ness and I exchanged glances several times throughout the night, and at one point, it looked as if she and Emily were sharing a pretty intense conversation.

Ness would nod her head and look in our direction intently, then smile. Finally, she stood, tugging at the bottom of her tank, and heading out towards the water. Kim had already sprinted out to the ocean, with her right on her heels. I watched as the bottoms of Ness's cobalt boyshorts rose and fell against her ass with her strides and immediately wanted to follow behind her, though, I was in the midst of a conversation with my packmates.

"So, what's the deal with this move, its coming up soon, right?" Sam mentioned, though I was a bit distracted by the girls playfully splashing in the water.

"Yeah, next month, you know you guys are coming with when I move, right?" I murmured with a smile, "if for nothing more than to move shit."

After speaking with the folks at HCI, I'd accepted the job offer and agreed to start work at the end of August. The whole thing worked out great, as the leasing office was putting the finishing touches on the loft and repairing a few things that I definitely could do myself, but I wasn't arguing. We'd arrive in Seattle about a week before Ness began her junior year at UW, which would give us ample time to get settled.

"Fuck you, man," Quil replied disgustedly.

"Yeah, dude, off the rez, I'm not your slave, fucker," Paul scoffed at me, crossing his arms across his chest. I knew they'd be there; not only would the help, but they were happy for me and the direction I was moving in. I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah, get some of those bloodsuckers to help your ass haul your shit," Jared said with a grin.

"Oh wait," Paul began, "you're taking Ness up there with you, right?"

"Motherfucker, you're gonna stop asking about my girl," I yelled, pushing forcefully against his chest.

"Well, tell her to stop checking me out then," he mumbled, flexing a muscle and kissing his bicep," I told her, I can only come over on Mondays and Wednesdays, shit!"

"Fuck you," I said laughing.

"No, really, Jake, is Ness moving in with you? That's serious bro," Seth questioned in the serious tone.

"Naw, she's doing the off campus housing thing, but I'm pretty sure she'll be over all the time anyway so, I think it should be cool."

He nods his head thoughtfully, "Oh, okay."

"Yeah, I'll be busy in Seattle, but you know I'll be back to handle biz back this way a lot, we'll talk about specifics later."

"You better handle your shit, or Billy's gonna come and beat your ass!"

"You know, dude, shut up!" I yelled grabbing Jared by the waist and playfully, but roughly carrying him a few yards and dropping him in the sand. He was having none of that though, because before I knew it, we had begun a full-out brawl-wrestle fight in the moist sand leading to the water, with Paul, Quil and the rest of the pack involved. At some point, I felt teeth sink into the tender skin of my calf and hands wrap around my leg. Sand sliding against my back rapidly, I kicked and yelled lightheartedly as I was dragged into the water.

After breaking the surface, I rose to my feet, running my fingers through my wet hair and glancing around. _There. _Ness had seen the whole thing.

"You weren't even gonna help me? Some girlfriend you are," I complained, swimming over to her.

"Aw, _baby_," she murmured with a smile, taking my face into her cool hands, "did they gang up on my poor, helpless Jake? Where are they, lets get'em… lemme at'em!" She was making fun of me. I immediately reached down, cradling her shapely frame against my chest.

"No, Jake! No!" she said giggling, kicking and fighting unsuccessfully to squirm out of my arms. I flashed her a devilish grin, and threw her out into the ocean. I shot out after her, just inches from where I figured she would resurface. She rose from the water with a smile, rubbing the water from her eyes and hitting me against my chest with loud slap. I snaked my arm around her waist, bringing her closer to me and glancing back towards the beach. We'd paddled waist-deep out a few dozen yards and were becoming increasingly more secluded from the rest of the party.

Water slid in hundreds of beads across her creamy skin, blood rushing to its surface across her cheeks. I ran a finger leisurely across the swell of her full breasts, as her chest rose and fell rapidly from our play or from our closeness, I couldn't be sure of what.

I couldn't help myself; she'd parted her lips expectantly, and I had to oblige. I brought my head down to press my lips against hers. Softly, I trailed a string of sweet kisses across her jaw, down her neck to her collar bone, and back to her mouth, deepening my exploration of her mouth.

Pulling her lips from mine breathlessly, she glanced around us, and back to me with a smile at her lips, playing with the hair at the nape of my neck. I turned my back to the beach, attempting to be as inconspicuous as possible, as I felt her trace her fingers along my waist and tug at my shorts. She pulled my already hardening erection free beneath the water, wrapping her fingers around me, stroking me attentively and running her hot tongue across my chest, suckling each of my nipples. My hands slid to her ass - well, my ass, it _did _belong to me - resting there, enjoying the soft, yet firm feel of it beneath her barely-there bikini.

"Ness…" I trailed off, dropping my head back, gazing into the clear blackness of the night sky above; letting Ness love me this way. The intoxicating sensation of her wet hands sliding up and down my length underwater and her mouth against me felt _amazing_.

My hands made their way to the front of her bikini top, moving it to either side, and exposing her pert breasts and erect nipples to the warm night air. I slid my palms flush with her body and inside the band of her shorts, pulling them down and quickly shoving them into my pocket.

"Come here…" I mumbled against her mouth, grabbing her around the waist and lifting her near weightless body eye-level with me. She wrapped her legs around my waist, my hardness pressing against her abdomen. Bringing her lips back to mine, Ness reached for my length, rocking her hips against me just so, and plunging me deep into her in one smooth motion.

Her half-lidded gaze was one of determination as she grinded up and down the length of me rapidly; she was trying desperately to get off. I looked at her, surprised.

"It's like that babe?" I panted, watching her arch her back, fully taking in all of me, which was no small feat. I palmed her ass, thrusting powerfully into her, pressing my fingers into its softness. The water around us made for the perfect lubrication, not that she needed it, but it was amazing. I can't believe this was one of only two times Ness and I had done this in the ocean - we'd have to make more use of our close proximity to the Pacific Ocean in the future.

She wrapped her arms tighter around my shoulders and captured my lower lip in her teeth, darting her tongue into my mouth, all the while, never ceasing her bounce on my cock - this was completely her show.

She panted, "I've, ah….been thinking about this morning all day, and, uh…ssss… I wanted to see if I could…fuck… get a round two," she said through moans of pleasure.

This morning _was_ something - almost enough to make me come at its mention- not yet though, even if I could feel my dick twitch deep within her. It had been a no-holds barred 4-hour marathon, involving some shit that I had always wanted from her, but was too chicken shit to ask. Looking back, I kicked myself--she was more than obliged to make it happen for me, why had I waited so long? I mean, she was my imprint, and she loved it as much as I did.

I stared into her eyes, then, she abruptly threw her head back, frantically grinding herself against me, and I knew she was close.

"Oh, Jake, baby," she whimpered a-matter-of-factly, "…shit's so good, ohh, Jake…gonna come baby, ahh."

Relief and pride washed over me; I wasn't sure how much longer I could last with her wetness wrapped around me and her whispering sexily in my ear. Moments later, I felt her tighten, then her powerful jerks squeezing her muscular thighs around me. I wrapped my arms around her, allowing my climax to roll through me, and in controlled thrusts, I came heavily into her.

"Shit..." My toes curled into the wet sand below, and my fingers pressed urgently into her thighs.

Goddamn, I loved this girl.

My mouth on hers, I slowly released her onto her feet, steadying her. She playfully looked behind me, I imagined trying to make sure no one had caught us, though, I didn't really give a shit if they did anyway. Readjusting her top to cover her breasts, she grinned up at me mischievously raising an eyebrow, and wiggling her wet fingertips in front of me. O_h, guess I couldn't keep those._

Reluctantly, I reached into the front pocket of my board shorts and handed her bikini bottoms to her waiting palm. She smiled contently.

"What am I gonna do with you Jacob Black?"

"I dunno, but we can start with more of _that_," I said grinning, "that was so…"

"Hot? Yeah," she said, beginning to wade back toward the beach, "I can _never_ get enough of _that_."

"Trust me, " I replied swimming behind her, "I'd love to try until we find out."

The pack, Ness and I were among the last to leave the beach. After we'd all had our fill of burgers, hot dogs, and the sweets Emily had home-made for the group, we sat around fire, joking and laughing, occasionally throwing a log or kindling onto the dying blaze, just enjoying the last days of summer with each other.

In spite of all our best efforts though, Ness and I obviously didn't do a good enough job hiding our, uh, _water activity_ and had to hear it from the group once we made it back to shore.

It started with Paul and Seth's not-so-inconspicuous glances to one and other, until finally, conversation of our time alone in the ocean erupted into laughter and teasing. I thought for sure Ness would be mortified at our lovemaking being on full display in front of more than ten others, but she just shrugged, scooted closer to me on the driftwood log we sat on, and kissed me tenderly, which too, was met with catcalls.

They were family after all, and, after seeing pretty much each of them naked at one point or another after or just before a phase over the years, I supposed she'd earned her stripes in the world of pack extended family long ago.

I glanced around at the group, some in pairs, some draped casually around their partners, like Ness and I were, and was happy. So happy...though, I couldn't help but feel a bit melancholy - it felt like a part of our lives was slipping away. Things would never be like this again, not really - I mean, you can't capture lightening in a bottle.

You can never go home again.

So, I turned to Ness, then, into the faces of the men I'd bled with, and cried with and sweat with, and I was content. I replayed the entire day, looping it in my mind like a well-edited movie - the type you've seen a million times, but still can always find on the shelf to watch once more.

I may never get this back again, because my life was changing- even as I sat there, but, for now, I was home..

.

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**A/N -** If you're a regular reader and are noticing some changes to this and future chapters, please stick with me, I'm taking this story in a new direction, and I promise all the time I've been away was for a purpose.

Thank you for being so patient with me while I worked on other fics, like the new Stealing Forever, or my Jake/Bella action fic, Deep Undercover.

I promise I have some great things in store for TMIM... stay tuned.

Follow me on Twitter for updates and all sorts of goodies: **ArtBeatsandLife**


	7. Chapter 6 Best Laid Plans

**Chapter 6 - Best Laid Plans**

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This shit was _really _starting to piss me off.

Yes, there was a fair amount of conversation in the council meeting, and of me explaining my intentions, and even more, of explaining why I was choosing to leave La Push when my hands and mind were needed right here and not with some cold, faceless corporation in Seattle. But, was this even a discussion?

Was it not glaringly obvious that I wanted a better life for myself and my family? That working at some rez garage or restaurant or hotel wasn't enough for me? That I wanted more for myself, for everyone?

They were talking about me like I wasn't even there, like my voice didn't even matter.

I guess that's what happens when you're young and most of the people in the room have known you your entire life, a few before you were even born.

I was a man though, and I needed them to trust that if they could put their lives in my hands daily, then, well, I was more than responsible enough and had the wherewithal to know that I could handle the work that was needed to sustain the rez, without necessary needing to be there in the flesh day-to-day.

Not-so-surprisingly enough, the council was less than thrilled at my plans.

The meeting with the tribal elders that followed was even worse, if that was even possible.

They went on and on about how I was tied to this place, like I didn't know that better than most.

About how my loyalties lied here. Every man in my family for generations were buried at A-Ka-Lat.

And then came the creation story.

The one I had heard countless times since I was a kid. The one I acted out with all the fervor and excitement of my youth with Quil and Embry, about the Transformer and how we descended from the very wolves we phased into now. About the kwallah and the raven.

I know. I know.

... and of course, about the treaty and the Cullens, about just how closely I was tied to them - a fact that I struggled with daily.

So, logically, the next point of discussion was Ness.

Though few would ever say it outright, not many on the rez were excited that I'd taken a H`okwat' - a white girl - as my own, especially with my standing in the tribe. It's not like I could defend my choice-or lack there of - on imprinting to most of them. I couldn't turn to each of them as they looked at us crazily and tell them I've loved her since she was born because some wolfy-type magic shit.

Yeah. Letting that little piece of info slip outside of the pack or a select few who needed to know wasn't even an option. I hadn't really given it much thought, to be honest, but obviously others had. Over time the matchmakers and elders tried to get me to look elsewhere, to a nice Native girl, even Makah, but once they learned that imprinting came into play, the ones who knew about it us alone, while the others, to this day, still have a litany of unwarranted comments. My moving off the reservation didn't help matters much either- despite myself, I was starting to feel like I was abandoning them. Like I was a sell-out.

...and now, I had to hear them throw that shit in my face. She was my imprint, damnit!

I felt myself losing control, so instead of listening to this bullshit, I focused on not phasing and ripping someone's face off.

It was so hard not to shout out and assert myself, when in my daily life I was the leader; I was the Alpha.

But deference is a motherfucker.

So I took it. I stayed silent while local opinions and archaic thinking prevailed. I stayed quiet because that's what I had been taught, occasionally nodding my head as I knelt before them.

All the while knowing who I was.

I was the great-grandson of Ephraim Black. The last real chief of this place.

This shit was my destiny, whether I wanted it to be or not.

I knew that I'd bled on each corner of this land for miles, and now they had the gall to tell me what I needed to do with my own life?

At the end of it all though, I was still going to Seattle, and most of them begrudgingly allowed me to do so, not that there would be much of a choice.

I was fucking going.

This was my life, not theirs. Their choice was to stay here; mine was to find my own destiny. Though weaved in with every person living in La Push, buried underneath it, and somewhere in between, it was my own to do with what I saw fit.

Of course there was continued talk, and the elders set a date for my blessing ceremony for safe travels and protection while I was away from the reservation. There was no way I could leave for any significant amount of time - any of us - without a blessing.

I'd get additional markings to add to my already massive tattoo covering my right shoulder and upper arm, an idea that I actually liked. The difference, though, was that I'd be alone in the circle for the 3 hour long event without my pack, which I never could get used to, no matter how many times I participated. I had been in this position several times before, but it was always before we had gone into battle. We were fighting for all of them, and the threat of death was very real; we protected them while so many on the rez never even realized it.

We fought like our livelihood and very way of life was at risk.

Because in most cases, it was.

This was one of many blessing and safety rituals, but now, I wouldn't be entering war; I would be leaving the welcoming arms of La Push.

Nate Goldfinch, council director and my father's first cousin, pulled me aside after the meeting and proved to be among the most understanding of my choice.

"…Jacob, you've grown into quite a young man, and I know you'll do an excellent job…whatever you endeavor to do," Nate's smiling eyes creasing and sparkling knowingly. "…and don't you worry, I'll call over to Billy's and see if we can't get him to come around, huh?"

I didn't even realize I'd been wringing my hands under the table and nervously staring at the elaborate, wood inlaid raven etched on the wall of the conference room. I glanced around as Jana White and several others began rustling and preparing to leave. I swallowed.

"Thanks Nate," I blurted, relieved. "I'm heading out next month, so we'll be in touch before then; I'm sure of it," I responded, pushing my palms against the large table and rising to my feet.

"Wait Jacob, kwo-ok`l-cha," Nate, gestured to me to stay seated. "Stay a while. I want to talk to you for a second before you go. We never get to chat."

"Sure, sure, of course," I replied, a bit relieved that the business piece of this whole thing was complete, at least for now anyway. "What's up?"

"Well, I need to make sure that you are going to still be around La Push after you move. There are a bunch of things I want to show you around here; this land has some interesting issues that arise from time to time."

"Definitely, I'm glad to… I want you all to know though, I'll be back all the time, seeing Billy and handling a few other things around here….La Push business and anything else."

Eyebrows rising knowingly, he nodded again, "Great… glad to hear it; I'm sure you'll take care of _things_." Nate definitely knew about the pack, hell, he was there when Sam, Jared, and Embry carted me off after I'd started phasing. "So, how's that girlfriend of yours doing?"

"Renesmee's good… starting her junior year at UW soon. She's in the English and Psychology programs up there."

"Ah, that's great. Good girl, from what I hear."

"Yeah, she's great," I agreed, beaming widely. I felt my heart speed at the thought of her; she was really something. Ness had decided on a double major and recently taken on a minor in comparative human history. She had become increasingly more interested in studying the mind, and after speaking with several covens who had lived centuries longer than any other beings, she'd found human and world history fascinating. Of course, being the wunderkind she was, she'd secured several college credits before even finishing high school and breezed through her core classes. Even in advanced placement classes, Ness was finishing a four-year program in two and a half.

"I can see that…well, I won't hold you here too much longer… oh, and also, Jacob, I wanted to talk to you about a project idea I've been thinking about. I'd like to get your opinion."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, we've been throwing around the idea of perhaps building a historical center on the reservation."

"Nate, that sounds awesome, I'd love to get involved." This sounded like something I could sink my teeth into on the rez. I might even be able to get a government grant and put some of my engineering pull to work.

"That's exactly what I like to hear. See what you can come up with, and we can talk more about some locations and areas around the land that would work."

"Sure will. We'll, talk."

"Great. Oh, and you just be sure to take care of business, you hear me?"

"Nate, you're starting to sound like my dad," I said chuckling. "I'm going to be around…. I promise and if you ever need me I'm a phone call away. I'll even invite you and Marie and the kids all out to Seattle."

"I think we'd all like that, Jacob… we'll be in touch, I'll let everyone know."

Though we only spoke briefly, Nate also mentioned that he would be willing to work with my schedule and begin the grooming process for my succession following his term. Despite the entire thing being governed democratically, there was an unspoken decision that I would be the next Director. I was old enough, and I had proven myself on more than one occasion, so unbeknownst to me, as I ran with the pack or traveled to and from UW, I was being watched.

After meeting with the council and the elders, wrapping up the rest of my loose ends was pretty easy by comparison. I'd actually started feeling pretty good about the whole move; I could actually do this.

The conversation with Quil and Embry was cake of course. Turns out they didn't really mind me taking more of a silent partner role at the garage.

Apparently, I was too bossy anyway.

Luckily, I didn't have much to really worry about. The location of La Push Auto was perfect, right of the exit, so we maintained a steady stream of customers throughout the year. We'd taken on a few more guys we knew from school and even got a receptionist. I never really felt good about anyone besides the three of us performing any real exhaustive internal work, but I'd just have to learn to let go.

"Well, duh, Jake," Embry said glancing around, then lifting a 500 pound car engine off the ground and carefully placing it below the hood of an older model Chevy. I raised my eyebrows at him - geez, he hadn't learned how to keep his strength inconspicuous, even after all these years.

He just smiled and shrugged in response to my woeful look. "Quil and I have this thing handled. You just go off and be mister-big-time-engineer and build some rocket-ships. Don't worry about us mere mortals."

I rolled my eyes, "I know...I just...I just wanted to let you know and make sure everything was copacetic."

"Yeah, yeah, get lost; don't you have something to do or something?"

"Alright, damn. I know when I'm not wanted," I said walking back to my car. "Ness is cooking tonight, you still coming, right?"

Embry nodded just as Quil was walking from the front after finishing with a customer.

"Of course," Quil added, "Claire's coming too, okay?"

"Sure, that's fine. I'll let Ness know."

Later that night, the pack and I had the first of a series of meetings, after which it was decided that I would phase at least twice a week to connect with them remotely from Seattle and get back to La Push a couple times a month, both for the council and to make sure things were going smoothly with the pack and run patrols.

"Babe," I said glancing at the clock and rising from the dining room table, "Can you keep an eye on Claire for a bit?"

"Jake please, I am almost a teenager. No one needs to keep an eye on me, give me some credit, will you?"

I chuckled, "You're right C. Ness, would you young ladies mind keeping yourselves company while we run out for a sec?"

She already knew, they both did, without us having to tell them, so Ness patted the now adolescent Claire on the shoulder and asked if she wanted to watch a movie, then she'd drop her off back home.

"Thanks, baby," I placed a kiss on her temple, then followed Embry and Quil out the front door. They had already made it to the edge of the woods after I hopped off the last of the stairs, stripping off my shirt. The rumbling rolled through me in electric sparks, then in a half-second I was on all fours.

It was like finally taking a deep breath, after a week of short, unfulfilling staccato ones - just enough to keep me alive- never enough though to sustain me.

All at once, I heard the welcoming buzz of thoughts flood my mind. It was maddening at times, but today I embraced its familiarity like an old pair of worn-in slippers.

...Paul was thinking about Rachel. _Ew_.

...Seth was thinking about not thinking about Paul thinking about Rachel.

...Leah was trying not to think about Sam.

...Sam was trying _not _to think about Leah and _to _think about Emily.

...Embry was thinking about seconds of Ness's meatloaf.

...Quil was thinking about building sand castles with Claire.

...and I, well, I was thinking about the upcoming smudging ceremony. And Ness, of course.

_God_. My phase was amazing that night.

The cool wind on my face, the damp soil underfoot.

It was the closest thing to heaven outside of looking into Ness's eyes.

We arrived at our clearing and, after some discussion at length, it was settled; Seth, Embry and Leah would be my lead men on the ground while I was away, with help from Sam - though, he'd be slowly paring back his time to be with Em and the baby. Of course Embry and Jared would be there, and Colin and Brady. With each conversation, I became more comfortable with leaving, with letting these men (and woman) do what we'd done for nearly decade together.

They could handle this. We all could.

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* * *

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The weeks went by quickly and after setting my apartment lease-end date and boxing up my things, moving out to Seattle was already upon me. I stopped by Billy's to retrieve any old stray belongings I had left there, among them some keepsakes I'd inherited from him that never did get unpacked, and I promised myself I'd find a place for everything in the new house.

No more random stuff stored away in boxes. It would be my new home.

Billy's self-imposed silence continued on, and at first I was upset, but now, I just wanted my dad back. I wanted him to just forgive me and give me the benefit of the doubt that I was doing the right thing for all of us.

"Jake, well, I can't say I don't agree with him on some level," Rachel began placing her palm against my chest, "but you know how dad is. Just go talk to him, huh?"

She wrapped her arms around me one last time before grabbing her bag beside the door and running out to meet Paul's awaiting car in the driveway.

I glanced through the living room to the covered sun porch at the rear of our small house to see Billy sitting and reading the sports section of the newspaper and sipping lemonade.

I took a huge drag of air into my lungs and let it out in a hiss. I could do this.

"Dad," I said softly, he glanced away from his paper and up at me, waiting.

"I…I'm sorry. I am, I never want you to be disappointed in me…I just want you to understand where I am right now."

He sat quietly, waiting for me to continue.

"Well…I know you know I've worked so hard these past few years. Not to mention the work I had to put in at LPHS just to graduate even remotely on time. All that time away did not help my GPA." I thought back to those months I spent running and remembering the pain. About how hard it was to get back into the swing of things with academics, about how differently the pack looked and thought about me after what happened with Bella.

But quickly blinked it away. I couldn't dwell on it any longer than I'd allowed myself to already, and trust me, that kind of pity party, Ness or not, was almost debilitating.

Something crossed his face. Understanding? Yes!

"And, well, I just want to leave here knowing that you aren't mad at me, honestly, Dad. Aside from all the council and rez stuff. Just me and you. I don't know what I would do if you didn't accept the way I've chosen to live my life."

He sat back silently, considering my words. He squinted his eyes, appearing to look at something in the distance.

"Thursday is the ceremony, and well, I'd like it if you were there. It's important to me Dad."

His eyebrows furrowed in thought, lips pursed.

"I remember my first one." I assumed he meant the ceremony. "I was a little younger than you are now." He slid his shirtsleeves up slightly and showed me two small horizontal lines on the bottom of the even larger tattoo I'd seen thousands of times over the years. I had never noticed it before.

"Jacob. I love you; you're my son," he began rolling his sleeve back down and turning his upper body towards me. I took a seat in the old brown leather chair across from him.

I nodded, wishing he would go on. He didn't. We sat there for the remainder of the afternoon, stealing passing glances at each other. I still don't know what that meant, but in spite of everything that was going on, at least I knew he loved me, regardless of my choices.

Finally, I stood glancing at my watch, and pacing toward the door I took one last glance at my father. Of course he'd come around.

Now, I needed to head home. I had more packing to do, and Billy was as stubborn as I was. I could be there all night, and that wasn't something I was willing to do.

Not tonight anyway.

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The pungent smell of sage whirled around me as I knelt before tribal elders. I said a silent prayer for protection and blessings, that my feet be measured with speed of my wolf guardian. That my elders be with me, that my great-grandfather, who I truly knew still walked with me, guide me.

The fire.

Eyes.

The beat of the drum...the beat of my heart.

Woven patterns of my spirit wolf covered my shoulders as clasped my hands, preparing for the markings, and sliding it to the ground.

Dip.

Tap, tap.

It stung a little, but I was proud to wear the markings, to add the warrior etchings on my shoulder and arm.

The first one I received was just after I'd begun phasing, along with the intricate tattoo the pack all now wore.

Great Spirit be with me.

Dip.

Tap, tap, tap.

The fire burned brighter behind me, as I rose to my feet circling the drum. All the while the drums measured my steps.

Facing towards the east - always the east - I took the feather and sage in my fingers, rolling it in the flame, allowing the wind to waft smoke away, thanking the spirits for new life. New hope. New direction.

I looked into the eyes of my father and felt connected to him there in the night.

He was the first.

I walked to him and allowed him to circle my head with the burning herb, dipping his fingers in the ashes, and rubbing them on my forehead and face. For protection and cleansing.

Each of the elders followed, as did each of my pack members. For solidarity.

We'd insisted Leah be allowed all that time one of two times for a woman.

I was silent while they all continued.

The drum.

My heartbeat.

The chant.

The acknowledgment of my warrior.

My wolf.

My ancestors.

...I was ready.

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**A/N - I am not a member of the Quileute Nation, nor am I Native American or part of the First Nation in any way. The blessing ceremony mentioned is taken from a smattering of several Native American tribal ceremonies I could wiki; the tattoo ceremony was inspired from the Twilight Saga: New Moon wolfpack tattoos, mixed in with a Polynesian tattoo most notably seen on Dwyane Johnson (http : // www. hayabusa. org /forum/attachments/gen-ii-busa-information/134003d1237523731-new-tattoos-rock .jpg)**

**The Quileute language words, however, were taken directly from the official Quileute Nation website, and thus, I believe are correct.  
**

**No misuse or disrespect of anyone's culture is intended. It's all fiction and artistic liberty.  
**

**Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I own nothing.**

**REVIEWS ARE LOVE  
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	8. Chapter 7 Closets and Christenings

_**Because I love you guys SO much, there's a little unexpected added goodie at the end of this chapter. Enjoy!  
**_

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**Chapter 7 - Closets and Christenings**

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I had no idea why, but at that moment, my thoughts settled on my mom.

...well, my six-year-old boy understanding of her, anyway.

She'd be proud of me.

There were only a few memories left in my mind about her - they were all the same, playing in loops around my mind whenever I needed her.

_Me, Billy, her and the twins at a summer festival._

_Her zipping me into layers and layers of clothing, then into a massive thermal suit on the first winter's snow storm, me just itching to head outside._

_Her mutton stew and fry bread._

_Her shower of kisses on my face. _I'd reluctantly accepted them, later wiping them off in the presence of Embry and Quil. I mean, I _was _a man.

Mostly though, I remembered my mom's smile, one that I've been told time and time again mirrors my own almost exactly. I like to think that every time I smile, I'm participating in my own little one-man memorial for her.

Those days were some of my best memories of her, though nothing life-changing happened, really. I'm still not really sure of all the specifics, blame it on time and my age then, but I am positive of how I felt; how she made me feel, and it was pure love and adoration.

The stretching road ahead and the overcast sky beckoned me to my new home. Glancing to the right of me - the halo of perfectly messy auburn curls blowing wildly in the wind, the small dimple dotting her left cheek, the tilt of her head as she looked out the passenger window deep in thought - my love for Ness actually intensified, if that's possible. My heart was so full at the thought she would be taking this journey with me, right there beside me.

More than that though, a pensive smile played at my lips and a realization settled in.

I was happy.

We'd traveled the majority of the drive to Seattle, towards my new Belltown loft and Ness and I were contently chatting about the things we always did. I glanced to her happily as trees and woods eventually gave way to concrete and buildings, and she took in her surroundings and hummed a song playing on the radio.

"...so, I suppose you love her too?" I said rolling my eyes.

"Um, yeah. This is You Oughta Know," a choking sound rose in her throat as she looked at me with a teasingly disgusted look across her face. "Alanis and Fiona are like, legends."

"You've got to be kidding me Ness, I mean really," I said incredulously with a grin, "Fiona Apple?"

"I'm serious Jake," she said, amusement in her voice, "she was one of the most awesome chicks of the early 90s."

"Early 90s? You weren't even alive!"

"So?! And you were alive when that Monk guy was? Besides, I listen to Bella's CDs all the time!" she objected. "Excuuuse me, but I guess my favorite artists aren't as high brow as yours."

Yet again, she and I had fallen into a music debate. As wildly intellectual a being as Ness was, I just could not understand her musical choices. I'm sure she'd say the same about how the pack and I could spend hours playing Madden. Go figure.

"Ooookay," I chuckled glancing in my rear-view mirror. Alice followed behind us in Ness's car, followed by a car load of the Cullens, and behind them, Quil, Embry, and Seth in a small rental truck of my belongings. Pleased as I was to have everyone there at this huge moment of my life, I would have loved to have Billy there. I don't think he'd made it to the point of that much acceptance just yet.

I made a sharp left into the parking garage and pulled into the nearest spot to the elevator, the rest of the caravan following suit. I fished around in front pocket of my cargo shorts for the key card I'd need to enter this incredible building. This whole thing would only take a couple hours, tops. Between Seth and Quil, I'd found a home for most of my furniture, leaving just clothes and other odds and ends, like my keyboard, my TVs and desktop for us to move.

We entered the loft*, and, even though I'd seen it before, I felt excitement wash over me, coupled with a bit of nervousness. I was becoming increasingly aware of the enormity of this situation, of this opportunity, and, I'd definitely have to make this company feel good about the choice they'd made in hiring me and giving me this place. Hardwood floors, massive ceilings, and modern appliances. The entire space was furnished almost entirely, and decorated in tastefully masculine shades of deep brown, rust and lime green.

The view was what solidified my decision, though. The living room held a wall almost entirely made of glass, leading to a balcony that reminded me so much of home; you could see the city of Seattle for miles.

I had to head straight for the balcony.

It had a street view, and from what I could see, we were no less than 5 blocks from the water, which was good. I could smell the briny sea air, causing my mouth to involuntarily water, and took me back to my many times at First Beach. What wasn't so good, though, was that I couldn't find any wooded areas for miles. Hmm. Phasing may be tougher than I'd originally thought.

Draping my large frame over the balcony's metal ledge and resting my forearms I let my mind wander thoughtfully…. 3rd and Cedar; the cross streets of my building.

I glanced around my new neighborhood, noting a pretty grungy but cool-looking bar a block over. The End was painted neon yellow and black across the front of the building. It had what appeared to be all the local hipsters hanging around the front in their skinny jeans and scowls, cigarettes dangling perfectly nonchalantly from their lips. I chuckled to myself. There was a blond walking her small dog in front of my building in a bright red trench coat. She glanced around impatiently waiting for her Terrier to finish, and then up at the sky, catching my gaze. She smiled brightly at me and waved welcomingly, and I reciprocated.

"Jake," my ears perked and I took in her smell before bringing my eyes away from the woman. I glanced to my left to find Ness sliding the glass doors open to join me, resting her palm on the door frame and tilting her head to the side absently. "My parents and I are gonna head over to my apartment. It should only take a little bit."

Glancing upwards, I took in the looming clouds above head. While the early part of the morning was actually pretty clear for Washington, it looked like a storm was coming.

"You need me to come? Looks like it might rain."

"No, no. You stay and handle stuff here. Between Em, Jazz and my dad, we should be just fine. Shouldn't take more than a couple hours, tops."

"Okay, well, let me know. We brought up most of the stuff from the car, so this shouldn't take long either."

"Yeah, you know Alicia's moving up tomorrow, so, I'm trying to get somewhat situated before then; I think she wants to hang out a bit, so keep your calendar open…I think Reese may come with too, FYI." Alicia and Ness were in the same English program, and they'd been close since last school year. I'd hung out with her a few times with Ness, and she was cool enough, plus, having her around let Ness do her whole girl-bonding thing. Reese was her boyfriend; I'd only met him once; cool guy, though I'd thought he was a little strange, if I remember right.

I nodded crossing the space between us in a long stride, and pulling her to me in an embrace with a playful jerk. Giggling, she whipped her body back over-dramatically and landed in my arms, hands over my biceps. I placed a tender kiss on her forehead, nose and her lips. Sliding her hands and linking them behind my neck, she deepened it, giving me her tongue.

"Now remember," she mumbled into my mouth, "we have to christen this place tonight when we're all settled in."

Pulling her closer to my chest, I narrowed my eyes and grinned, groaning my annoyance. "God, that's gonna take _forever_," I continued, nibbling along her neck as she continued her playful giggling and whispered her love in my ear.

"Okay, okay, break it up," Emmett, interrupted, hanging his massive frame out of the door, "quit all that before Ed has an aneurysm. You know we can hear you…_God_."

Ness grinned, blushing red with frustration and desire and embarrassment, pulling out of my grasp reluctantly, "Damn… you guys are the worst!"

She stomped back into the living room, looking so much like Bella.

"Yeah, yeah, take it up with the judge," Emmett mused, rolling his eyes as she pushed past him, moving him barely an inch. I followed closely behind, hearing a familiar high-pitched voice coming from my bedroom.

Walking the length of the hallway to reach the master bedroom, Ness curled up on the large bed- sans bedding- and looked in the direction of the voice coming from my walk-in closet. I craned my head in, to find Alice directing Seth to put the last of the several pairs of shoes resting in cedar shoe stands that spanned the length of the closet.

"What the…" I said, dumbfounded. There were rows and rows of suits, dress shirts, slacks, blazers, all organized by color and intended dress – casual, business casual, business professional. And this shit was nice. Like, highendnamebrand nice. None of this stuff belonged to me. I realized that immediately – my idea of nice was khakis and actual shoes.

"…I know, right?" she said pleased with herself, an excited smile across her lips. "I just couldn't let you start work without appropriate clothing, so I decided to pick up a few things."

"A few things? Alice, my closet looks like freaking Bloomingdales!" I said, still thunderstruck, brushing my fingers across several of the suits, sweeping my gaze upwards to find even more clothing folded on the shelves.

"I know, I know… I got a little carried away, but, it's not every day you get your first job…oh, Jacob, your ties are all here, she said gesturing to a large mahogany chest of drawers, she slid one of them open, to reveal dozens of ties and socks, all rolled neatly into several rows. "…I just called over to Rico and he already had all your measurements, so, he went ahead and did this for me as a favor, don't you just love it…."

She continued chattered on and on about tie bars and cuff links and handkerchiefs. Ness, sat chuckling and shaking her head, as Seth quickly made his escape back into the living room. I faintly registered the conversations of the visitors of my house, mostly Quil and Embry now though; it sounded like they were attempting to get my XBox hooked up so they could settle an ongoing score.

"…and that second space upstairs will be for Ness's things, you know, a girl needs to have her own place for her things…" Alice insisted upon preparing the second bedroom upstairs for Ness, complete with an additional closet of clothes 'just for emergencies.'

"…oh! and that hair…." She began, eyeing my head menacingly.

_That _got my attention.

"Wha… whats wrong with my hair?" I said defensively, running my hands over my head and tucking my hair into the collar of my t-shirt.

"Oh, nothing, if you're running though the woods half-naked, Jacob. You need to cut it."

"No Alice," Ness popped up, running her fingers through my hair lovingly. "I love his hair! I hate it when he cuts it! You can NOT do that to me again."

"Ohhh no. No. No way are you cutting my hair."

.

**~###~**

.**  
**

I can't believe I let that vampire cut my hair.

I stood staring into my brightly-lit bathroom mirror running my palms over the perfectly product-induced, yet messy peaks and sighed. I guess it was all for the best; it was getting too long for my phases anyway. I had a whole Josh Dumel/Chad Michael Murray thing going on, and girls dig those guys, right?

Around dusk, Ness and I were all moved in and Bella had made an emergency run to the grocery store to fill my empty kitchen with food, plus other human necessities-like toilet paper.

"It really does look good, babe," Ness stood in the doorway, eyeing me approvingly, "she's never cut it like that before."

"Sure, sure, tell me anything," I said reluctantly, pulling my slowly drooping shorts to sit higher on my hips, and searching for a new t-shirt to slide into. Well, I wouldn't have trouble with that, what, with my new wardrobe and all. Ness didn't look too happy with the addition of clothing on my bare chest.

"Um, what are you doing?"

"Uh, putting on a shirt," I said sliding the thin tank over my shoulders.

"Why?"

"Well, everybody isn't as appreciative of my random nudity as you are, dear," I mused with a peck on her lips.

"Fine, rob me of my free ogling," she said patting my ass cheek playfully. I poked my index fingers into her ribs, causing her to jump away from me.

I heard the clanging of pots and pans coming from the kitchen, "Bella cooking?"

"Yeah, she says she'd be happy to feed your bottomless pits of stomachs, now that she doesn't have to worry about taking a second mortgage out on the house to handle you guy's monthly food expenses anymore."

"Ha, ha," I responded wryly, which brought a bright smile across her face.

"Come on, I'm actually hungry, and I'm definitely not in the mood to hunt tonight," she said dragging me into the living area where my packmates were engrossed in a video game with Emmett and Jasper, while Bella and Edward were doing their, ew…. decade-long honeymooning thing in the kitchen. Bella grinned and quickly parted their embrace to continue preparing some kind of meal involving a massive lamb shank.

Ness grabbed a bag of pretzels from the cabinet and began munching them hungrily, joining the guys on the sofa.

I dipped a finger in the large pot on the stove... "Looks good so far, Bells… ow!"

...only to have Bella swat my hand away.

"Get your grimy hand out of there and go sit down. It'll be done in a minute."

.

**~###~**

.**  
**

Ness sighed, gracefully flopping - if that's even possible - herself onto the couch beside me in the darkness, hair still wet from her shower, beads of water still forming on the ends of the strands. I readjusted the towel around my waist from my own shower minutes before hers, as she climbed into my lap, straddling my legs and sliding the remote from my fingers, throwing it aside.

Her family and the pack had left an hour or so before, and we were exhausted from the day. Finally, with both of our houses unpacked and livable, I remembered what I'd been waiting anxiously all evening for.

A nearly sheer cotton tank was doing little to cover her full breasts, her matching boy shorts allowing the heat radiating off her body to seep onto my stirring manhood through the terry cloth covering my lap. Wordlessly, she covered my lips with hers, and passionately began kissing me. Her hands found my shoulders and chest, running over my scorching skin hungrily.

She threaded her fingers in mine, leading my palms behind her back. My already stiff erection hardened after she began grinding herself into my cock, creating a delicious friction between us. My fingers traced absent patterns across her back, fingering the hem of the shirt, and slipping underneath to the hot skin below. I buried my face in her chest, taking in her sweet smell intermingling with peppermint and honey body wash.

My fingers found her drying hair, digging and massaging her scalp, evoking a pleasured moan from her throat. Her eyes fluttered closed, enjoying my hands in her hair as she wound against my hardness.

"Mmmm," she purred, eyes, slowly opening, "…Jake, I need you..."

I licked my lips and snaked an arm around her narrow waist, pulling her gently onto her back. Rolling her tank upwards to expose her perfect breasts, my palm kneaded circles on her flat stomach, sliding to each nipple and squeezing. My thumb found the heated mound between her legs and her clit, rolling in circles through the thin material of her panties. She immediately responded, grinding her hips against my hand, eyes closing in pleasure. She looked so fucking sexy; I needed to taste her. Now.

We made quick work of getting her unclothed, and I dove my face hungrily between her creamy thighs. God she tasted so good. All heat and woman and sweet and brine. My tongue drug across the length of her, then drew circles around her stiffened and swollen clit.

"Oh God… Jake… wha...what are you doing to me?" She moaned loudly, arching her back and gripping the back of my shortened hair. Her voice was needy and raw, and it was almost enough to make me come before my dick even touched her.

Widening her legs and winding her hips in perfect rhythm with the thrusts of my tongue, her moans became louder. I could taste the heat of her clit, blood rushing just below its surface and throbbing with her impending orgasm. I continued my strokes, alternating with sucks and bites, sliding my index and middle fingers into her. She was dripping.

"Fuck..." she yelled, throwing her head back and arching once again; her hips thrashing, then vibrating violently as she came in gushes over my lips. I licked her clean, then threw my towel to the floor, not able to last another second outside of her.

"…baby… please…" I trailed off, resting my forehead against hers.

"Jake…oh God," she whimpered staring into my eyes, still in the midst of her release, "fuck me…" she said breathlessly. I squeezed my eyes shut, then forcefully, slid into her.

"Ness… shit, you feel so good…" her walls immediately gripped me in spasms.

"Jake…" she moaned, eyes rolling back, "I'm coming again, baby… please," she begged.

"What baby? Tell me what you need."

"…just…keep fucking me like that…"

So I did.

Deepening my strokes, I raised her legs to my shoulders, gripping her thighs. She was so tight this way; I could feel every inch of her slickness sliding along my hardness.

"...open up for me, baby… give it all to me, "I commanded breathlessly, flipping her onto her stomach and pressing my fingers into the softness of her hips. I slid her back and forth against me, searching, reaching for her center.

She moaned my name, along with various expletives, as I continued my search, stroking and grinding into her.

Oh, this was too good. I gripped her thick hair, causing her to cry out, and my dick to twitch within her.

"…oh, shit...fuck… just like that, just like that…it's all yours, baby…" she panted, and as if it was even possible, I could feel her become wetter around me.

"… I love you so much, Jake," she whined.

"...love you, Ness… so much," I moaned in response, feeling the familiar pressure building within me. I began pounding into her, rocking her small frame and edging her across the couch. She pushed back against me unexpectedly, meeting me thrust for thrust, until I couldn't hold back any longer.

"Oh, babe… I'm gonna come…"

"Come for me, Jake baby," she moaned, pushing her hips against me. I was teetering on the edge and her voice caused me to fall off a cliff with sensory overload. I slowed my thrusts, until I stilled completely, allowing her to thrust herself against me, rubbing her fingers across her clit frantically. Finally, I dug my fingers into her hips, and cried out in mind-numbing pleasure, emptying into her. She soon followed me bringing herself to release with her fingers.

As promised, Ness and I definitely 'christened' the loft, making love in every corner, surface and floor of my new condo for the next few hours. Insatiable, just as I'd finished bringing her to release, she'd rest for a few brief moments, then she'd be wrapped around me, kissing and sucking and biting expectantly, and I had to oblige her.

Around four a.m., I collapsed onto her back, sweat glistening on both of us, though I was sure it had little to do with my scorching body temperature.

She immediately passed out across the bed from exhaustion and I took one of the brief moments that she'd drifted off to run to the refrigerator to grab some Gatorade and a quick sandwich. I learned early on with Ness that I had to keep my electrolytes up.

Just as I was finishing up, not even twenty minutes later, I caught the outline of her body against the soft glow of street light pouring in from the window. With vampiric speed, she was on me, kissing and nibbling my neck as she stroked me.

"So, are you trying to kill me or…?" I said with a smile crossing my face. She was silent, raising my fingers to her lips and sucking them greedily.

She pushed me against the stainless steel refrigerator, and dropped to her knees. My dick immediately responded, which I still can't understand, because, at that point, I was running on fumes.

"…mmm Jake," she purred, taking me into her hand and licking the tip, "…please?" Her hand found my thigh and began running her long delicate fingers along my leg. She looked up at me with lust-filled darkened eyes, and the only response I could offer was a slight bob of my head.

"_God_, Jake...need you..."

Her soft purr soon turned into a low growl as she continued sliding her mouth along my length, in a perfect mixture of suction, softness and wetness, bringing me an incommunicable level of ecstasy. I wasn't sure what she had in mind, but I wished to God it was more of this.

Sliding me from her mouth, but replacing it with her hand, she traced a trail with her tongue to my hip, then thigh, nudging my legs open slightly with her small hands. Lust and hunger in her eyes, she looked up at me cocking her head slightly, baring her teeth and darting her tongue across the front, causing them to glisten in the twilight.

I barely recognized the growl that escaped her throat, then, faster than I could ever have prepared myself for, she sank her razor-sharp teeth into my thigh, taking long, leisurely pulls from the stream of blood flowing into her mouth.

Then, she moaned the most guttural sound I'd ever heard from her, in pleasure.

My mind went blank at the feel of her stroking my cock and suckling my inner thigh together. _Shit_.

I mean, Ness had given me love bites while we had sex more times than I could count, but this? This was beyond description, immeasurable pleasure.

It was like… like sex.

Like, fucking hot, head-banging, toe-curling, heart-stopping sex.

A loud moan escaped my own lips as I fisted my hands in her hair, and laid my head back, unable to form any real cohesive thoughts. My knees buckled, perhaps from the rate that I was losing blood, but mostly because I was on the verge of coming so hard I knew I'd pass out on the kitchen floor.

Realizing she was enjoying my body a bit longer than she'd though was safe I'm sure, she slowly detached from my leg, running her tongue along the wound, sealing it.

"…fuck, baby… you taste so good," she murmured softly, licking her lips clean and starting toward my hardened erection. She took me into her mouth once more, sliding its entire length down her throat and began a merciless attack on my body with her lips.

I moaned again, chanting her name and crying out to God, as a wayward tear escaped my eye, and I knew I was on the verge of something so insane, it scared me.

Tightening my hold on the back of her head, my orgasm ripped through me and stabbed in my chest and abdomen. It washed over me in waves over, and over, with me emptying into her hot, hungry mouth and calling out in every language my conscious mind knew.

My face grimaced in pain and pleasure and euphoria.

After what seemed like an eternity of after-shocks, I came down from what can only be described as an out-of-body experience, eyes resting on Ness, leaning against me with her cheek against my leg, finally satiated. She glanced up at me with a contented curl in her lips, standing, and kissing my neck.

I looked at her through hooded eyes, hoping my legs would get me back to the bed. Ness continued licking her lips, using her fingers to slide any bit of me that had dripped onto her chin.

"_God_," she said rubbing her body against mine, "I can't do that anymore..."

I couldn't even focus, not really, but I was curious, so I raised an eyebrow.

"..you taste too fucking good..." she said kissing me and nipping at my lower lip, "I might kill you."

_What a way to go._

-

-

* * *

**A/N **- _Woah_. I know.

To the folks that have read my J/N outtake _Housewarming _or have been long-time readers, this chapter is nothing new to you. To everyone else, I hoped you enjoyed.

***Here's Jake's new loft in Belltown, Seattle. Its totally awesome! - http :// www .residentialbelltown. com/ featured_moslerlofts. html **....Nice digs, right?

-

* * *

**Honey (TEASER)**

I've been working on a Jake/Ness AU/AH O/S that should be posted soon. Here's a sneak peek, tell me what you think...

**Summary**: **One steamy southern summer gives way to a sensual awakening Jake and Ness had never prepared themselves for after an afternoon and the sticky saccharine syrup unlock a carnal need in both of them. AH/AU Adult Jake/Ness. Rated M for Lemons and Adult Situations.**

-

"Miss Ness," Jacob began, his voice dripping with humor. I turned, tilting my head slightly toward him, raising an eyebrow. "Do you like… uh… you been in the honey?" His smile broke into an outright grin as he allowed his eyes to drop to my mouth.

"…er, what?" I grinned, fully amused; had I missed the punch line?

"You have a little…" he said, slowly raising his hand to cup my face. I felt my heart banging in my chest at the wonderfully tender feel of his palm against my jaw. I saw his eyes drift to the rise and fall of my chest, and I was sure it wasn't lost on him. He paused briefly, looking at me to ensure he wasn't overstepping by touching me.

When I didn't protest, Jacob slowly dragged his thumb across the corner of my mouth, where a stream of wayward golden honey had obviously dripped, just a half inch from my lips. _Oh my God_.

I had to suppress the moan that bubbled up inside me, and without even thinking, I parted my lips and turned my head in one swift motion, capturing his thumb in my mouth.

...My mind left me, all senses eradicated, all sucked into the small place in the universe where my finger was in the warm wetness of her mouth, where Ness sucked and licked softly.

It was like heaven on earth.

I couldn't believe it; her perfect, pink lips wrapped around any part of me was what I couldn't rid my mind of for the last two months of summer. This is what I'd been craving.

My labored breathing slowed, and I realized I'd been holding a breath for the last few seconds, lips parted of their own volition, my tongue darting out to wet them. I had to have more fingers in that beautiful mouth, I had to have her lips on any part of my body. I was sure I'd die contently if Ness would give me that.

...Reluctantly, he withdrew his thumb, and initially, I thought I'd done the wrong thing, that I'd offended him. It was just, he looked so delicious, all those nights thinking of him and the honey on his lips was just so unbearable. I had to taste him. My cheeks flamed at the thought of what I had just done, though I would never take it back. His finger tasted just as delicious as his mouth had all those nights ago.

Jacob turned to one of the dozens of mason jars brimming with the newly-jarred honey, dipping his index finger slowly, the thick syrup parting, edging its way to the mouth of the glass jar. Once coated, he lifted his hand, honey beginning to drip onto his palm, to my lips once more.

_Oh_. Understanding flashed in my mind, and just as if he'd read every desire within me, I greedily took his finger into my mouth.

...It was too much, sensation overload, so I squeezed my eyes shut for just a moment, and just felt the warmth and slickness of her mouth, and the languid way she sucked and lapped at my hand. My eyes darted open finally when I felt her tongue slide from her mouth and lick at the honey that had dripped onto my other fingers and palm, and they widened in surprise and unbridled want.

I needed her. I needed her so badly. _ Now_.


	9. Chapter 8 Home Again

**Chapter 8 - Home Again**

* * *

-

It had been forever, and with the move and all, I hadn't really had the time, but I couldn't deny her. Not anything.

"Play something for me?" Ness asked sweetly late one night. She looked amazing, as usual, wearing those tiny shorts girls wear to drive guys crazy, her hair all piled crazily on top of her head. It had been a lazy day of Chinese take-out, digital cable, and rented movies. While she'd been on her laptop finalizing her course schedule, I was answering emails and doing some web surfing.

Not too long after, she climbed into my lap and began spooning strawberry ice cream into my mouth and playing with the hair at the nape of my neck.

She cocked her head and gave me _the look_.

The look that could get anything out of me. Not to be confused with the look that could make me do anything for her, or the look that could have me naked in point-five seconds. She'd gotten all sorts of things from me with that look. I think she perfected it about the time she'd turned two years old. Now, that look, on her sexy face, eyes all golden brown and shining, took on a whole new meaning.

I smiled, placed a lingering kiss on her lips, then nodded to a far corner of the living room rising from where I sat on the couch, smiling and taking a seat with her beside me.

"Any requests madam?" I asked warming up by running fingers across my keyboard in no particular sequence, but eliciting a simple sweet melody.

"Hmm...play _my _song."

Her song. A soulful number I'd written for her just after her 19th birthday reminiscent of "My Love" by Sara Bareilles.

I could swing that.

I cracked my knuckles, shaking and wringing my hands in an over-dramatic display, pinching her nose, then tapping my cheek with my index finger.

"That'll be one kiss." She gave me my payment. Then, I began to play.

It came so quickly, so second-nature, like I'd been playing this instrument my whole life. I had always used my hands, most things like fixing a car or tinkering with an electronic robot, it just... worked for me. This was no different, turns out. When I was still very much a kid, Ed figured I needed some culture in my otherwise young, very base instinct, very masculine life - hey, I blame it on growing up with a bunch of misogynistic wolves whose idea of culture was playing Grand Theft Auto France.

She closed her eyes, enjoying the soft points, and furrowing her brow as I banged harder at other points, until it came to lull in the song and I was again running my fingers across the keys. I'd like to say that my love for the piano solely came from my desire to learn, but when she was just a little girl, I saw how much she loved it when Ed was feverishly engaged in a piece, how she would smile and clap her hands, and I knew I had to be just as good as he was. I had to learn how to make my girl happy like that.

I smiled and winked at her a few times, as she swayed and hummed, resting her head on my shoulder, scooting closer to me. She sighed and wrapped her hand around my upper arm.

It went black at first, but, then an amazing display of color and light drifted across my mind, in perfect rhythm and tune with the song. It was altogether detracting in its beauty, but also, like a finely practiced duet with the music I played. She had done that; Ness was playing me the music in her heart.

When I was done, so was she, and the colors slowly faded away as I turned to look at her with surprise in my eyes and a stupid grin on my face. She smiled at me in return, pleased with herself, glancing back at the keyboard, and I knew she wanted me to continue.

An errant thought crossed my mind as I looked into her eyes, all the love inside me bubbling up and overflowing.

Could I have ever been this happy without the imprinting? Could we be this supremely blissful, this perfectly content without that magic? I mean, I could never see myself without Ness, and, as much as I fought with the idea that the reason I was so engrossed and surrounded by this happiness was because the gods and spirits placed us together, I couldn't help not really giving a fuck.

Who was I, who were any of us, to question the gods? This was perfection, we, together, were perfection, perfect for each other, because of that magic shit. I thought I knew love before I looked into her face, I was sure that at sixteen, as with so many things, I'd had the market cornered on love and emotion.

No dice.

Ness was where I was supposed to be. Ness was my future, and I was hers. Even though it was so far in the future I couldn't imagine when it would happen, I could actually see us having children. Toothless grins and tiny feet running around us, perfect in every way because of our magic, because of our coupling. Our future children would be the best, they would carry on my legacy.

That was some serious shit to know.

After playing a few more songs I knew by heart, when she could barely keep her eyes open, Ness straddled my lap, lavishing my face with more kisses in appreciation, as I rose with her wrapped around my waist and carried her to bed, stripping off our clothing the entire way.

"I love you, Jacob Black.

"...I love _you_. More than I could even begin to tell you."

**--------------**

"You know, while I was at UW, I never really got the chance to actually enjoy the city?"

Ness and I awoke early that morning and in the crisp morning air, strolled to a local coffee shop for breakfast. I heard from the blond that I saw the day we moved in – who just happened to live one floor down from me and was named Christine - that Sylvia's was a staple in the neighborhood.

I wasn't one for coffee, but she had gone on and on about their famous blueberry-walnut muffins, and I figured it was worth a try. It took some convincing Ness out of the warmth of the bed - as I shook her gently, she only burrowed her head further under the covers - but after we were dressed comfortably, we enjoyed the walk on one of the few sunny mornings in Washington. The muffins definitely did not disappoint, and as I took a bite of my third one it reminded me of Emily, which reminded me of home.

Ness nodded, "I know, babe, you barely hung around here, and your classes were mostly on the weekend."

"Right. I gotta say, I feel like I was missing out." Glancing around the eclectic downtown streets, teeming with residents walking to work, or strolling with their dogs – everyone seemed to have one – I actually felt at ease.

We had only been there a little over two weeks, and while I did miss everyone I'd left, I was surprisingly comfortable being away from La Push. I'd never admit that to Embry or Quil or Seth of course. I never thought I could be this comfortable anywhere but the rez, or at least, like, Forks. I would have to call them today, well, my family anyway. I was due for a phase tonight, so I'd talk with the pack soon enough.

Today was a lazy day and with Ness starting classes next week, we tried to make the most of our uninterrupted time together, and that meant strolls around the Arts District. We had both become increasingly interested in the gentrified areas of Belltown that had become the hub for warehouse and industrial art galleries. I thought the whole area was pretty awesome; I couldn't imagine wanting to live in another part of Seattle. The whole area was almost vibrating with creative energy; the whole thing made me want to start up playing again. Especially seeing how happy it made Ness.

"I think I really love it here," Ness sighed glancing around, people-watching. "I mean, you're here now, which makes it so much easier. Though, I think I'll have to visit home sometime soon. The 'rents are gonna come looking for me if I don't."

"Definitely, and I don't need Ed and Bells looking for me." I chuckled. "We may wanna head up that way before you start classes. I need to talk to the others anyway."

She turned away from the juice she sipped, looking at me intently. "Are you happy here? I mean, really happy Jake?"

"I am Ness. I promise. I mean, of course it's not home-home, but, wherever you are is home for me," I replied seriously. It was true. She was my world, and, as much as I wanted things and had my own desires for my life, it was all just for her and our future. Making sure we were comfortable, making sure we were all safe, that was what was most important.

Reluctantly though, I _did _admit to myself that I did miss the guys; I was craving a game of Madden, and Xbox Live just wasn't the same without having Embry or Quil talk shit on the couch next to me as they cleaned out my refrigerator. Ness was my everything, but I still needed more testosterone in my life. While I was sure that I would meet my own new group here in Seattle, I couldn't help but be a little sad; how could they compete with guys I'd known since I was a kid? There were quite a few guys I knew from undergrad still in the city, so I felt a bit encouraged that I wouldn't have to start from square one.

After strolling the area until late afternoon, we ended up back at the loft. Ness cooked chicken and rice for dinner, and ate some, but I knew she was thirsty, as we hadn't hunted in over a week and, though her face was still perfect and beautiful, her eyes were beginning to darken. And, as much as I would love a repeat of that night we moved in, I don't want to test my ability to heal or have her believe I'm a permanent source of food.

No. That would be _way, way _too weird.

We _would _have to do _that _again though. The thought of it still makes my toes curl a little. _Damn_.

I cleared the dishes with a small smile while she settled onto the couch with these huge pink slippers with a big fluffy flower on the top that I could swear she wore just to make me laugh, when I heard the muffled ring of my cell from the other room. I jogged to answer it, glancing down and immediately recognizing the out of state number.

"Jake, dude, how the fuck are you?" Isaac greeted loudly. "So, you're over at HCI now, lucky bastard."

"Yeah, I am. I'm back in the city for good, over in Belltown." Ike and I had been in the same Industrial Engineering concentration at the U. It was a relatively small program, and he was a good dude. Those late nights held up in the ISES building working on this project or that kinda built a kinship amongst a bunch of us. Ike was a partier and definitely knew how to get loose once his coursework was done.

"Awesome. You know, I just got a year contract over at Bright Engineering. Christine is over there too, you know."

"Now, look at you. And I'm the lucky one?" Bright was one of the most innovative companies in the nation; young and fun, they were on each of our short lists of area companies, though I fell in love with HCI.

He chucked, "Well, all of us seem to be doing pretty well. Hey, I'm right over in Pioneer now, so we're almost neighbors."

"That _is _cool. I'm glad to hear a bunch of us are still around."

"Yeah, definitely." He paused briefly, "Hey, man, I gotta run, but we're definitely setting up some time for drinks this week. How's Friday?"

"Friday's good." That'd still give us time to head out to Forks and La Push the next day.

"Great, and bring Ness along, okay? I'll get the ball and chain to come too. We can do Ohana."

"Ohana. Now, that'll work."

The couple of times my classmates had dragged me out to Ohana, I'd had a pretty good time. I was a fan of sushi or pretty much any fish, which they specialized in. Plus, the atmosphere was young with a kitschy Hawaiian theme, and we knew one of the bartenders there, who always made sure we were taken care of the entire night.

Turns out, Friday was college night, so the crowd was particularly lively, which helped get my mind off my looming responsibilities, both here and back in La Push, and I could just be a normal twenty-something for once. I ushered Ness through the bar, maneuvering through the various twenty-somethings dancing or laughing and throwing back shots of tequila with my palm on her lower back.

Ness wasn't a big drinker - she said it tasted like trash – unless it was super sweet, like, rot your teeth sweet, so I ordered her the fruitiest-sounding thing on the drink menu, which was something called a Juicy Fruit Tiki Loop.

_...oookay_.

She'd always had a sweet tooth, as long as I could remember. That or she loved her red meat. The bloodier the better, which was fine by me; I was a meat and potatoes kinda guy anyway.

Oh, and burgers...and pizza...

We pulled up stools at the straw-covered bar beside Ike, and his girlfriend of two years, Lydia. They all stashed their coats, but I figured one of the button-down collared shirts I found in my closet would work without a jacket, and even in that I was a little hot. I smiled at Ness, nodding toward the drink, and waiting her approval.

She moved the tiny umbrella to the side and took a sip from the lime green bendy straw. Her lips curled into a pleasured smile, and she bobbed her head. I couldn't help but chuckle and sip my Red Stripe.

"So, you're coming up on your last year at U-dub soon, huh?" Ike said running his fingers through his dark hair and sipping something brown and dangerous-looking.

"Yeah, it added a couple of extra semesters when I added that minor. I'm still wondering what the hell I was thinking." She rolled her eyes, taking another long sip.

"Yeah, I'm thinking of going back for grad school next year," Lydia added. "English."

"Oh yeah? I'm in the English department now. I'm going the Psychology route though. Got turned on to it from my uncle."

"Oh, is he a Psychologist?"

"…you could say that," Ness smiled at me and smirked at our inside joke about Jasper. Ness had played around in the English department her Freshman year, but after working on her gift and spending even more time with Jasper, she had become more interested in helping well, normal people. I wonder if Bella ever talked to her about her depression all those years ago after Ed left. I'm sure Ness would want to hear firsthand how deep her pain went and the effects on her mind. I'd never bring it up though; it just seemed like ancient history at this point.

"Oh, okay, well, I may go into teaching or law. Haven't decided yet."

The girls chatted on about schools and plans after graduation, while I kept an eye on Ness after she hit the bottom of her third Juicy Fruit without batting an eyelash. Turned out, Ike got together with some guys at his job once a week for touch football in a park not too far from the condo. Said I'd be perfect.

I thought so too.

Ike raised an eyebrow at the grouping of empty glasses in front of her, nodding in Ness's direction. "She sure can handle her liquor, can't she?"

I almost choked, "...er, yeah, she's Irish," I joked. "Those are mostly juice and syrup anyway." I didn't know how truthful that was, but, she looked okay, beyond the darkness in her eyes, there was no glassy, watery gaze.

We stayed at Ohana until well after midnight, and I had to cut Ness off at about drink number seven, not because she was drunk, but, well, because she wasn't. That didn't stop her from pressing her body against mine, until I could feel the softness of her breast against my upper arm, and purring love into my ear. After some goodbyes, I got her back home in one piece; she was surprisingly lucid considering the amount of liquor she consumed. Guess it was the whole vampire genetics thing at work again. Ike joked that she could probably drink his Russian Father under the table - can't say I disagree.

"Whoa, whoa, there slugger," I said grabbing her around the waist as we made it into the house, attempting to steer her into the bedroom instead of the couch where she was headed. I got her out of her clothes and into bed, despite the kisses and bites she was placing along my neck and chest.

I chucked, attempting to remove her arms from around my neck, so I could take off my own clothing. _Damn she was strong_. "Babe. Not tonight, we got an early day tomorrow."

As much as it hurt me to deny her (and myself), she was a tad too tipsy, and I knew we'd be at _that _all night, and I still had to drive in a few hours.

"Jake..." she whined, poking her lip out and beginning to unleash look number three. I wasn't falling for it though, so I turned to strip down, not looking up to see the hungry look on her face that I just knew was there.

Of course she pouted as I walked into the kitchen to retrieve her some water and a couple of aspirin, but by the time I returned, she was already lightly snoring, and I had to gently shake her and get her to swallow the pills.

"Trust me, you don't want a hangover...not even sure you'd get one, but to be safe..." Ness obeyed me, pouted again, running her hands over my chest and biting softly. I just about lost my composure when she slipped her fingers into the waistband of my shorts. _Fuck_.

I smiled, and was sure it looked rather pained, but before I could return her touch - I mean, she _was _topless at the moment - she buried her head in the pillow seconds later. I couldn't help chuckling to myself.

The midnight blue light washed my bedroom in a eerie, but comforting, glow as I tried to slide from underneath her without disturbing her deep sleep. Before the morning drive, I just had to enjoy the peacefulness of my balcony for a few moments alone.

I was nervous.

I mean, when you're a kid, your parents kinda have to forgive you, unless you like, kill someone or something, but, as an adult, getting your parents to forgive you, especially something as huge as what Billy was pissed about required a little more work. And time.

I searched for my pole and boots and the rest of my gear, hopeful.

I knew he'd love it if I came prepared to fish with him, even if he didn't say it, so we left a little earlier than I would have normally liked. I'd surprise my dad, and well, I hoped he didn't yell at me or anything. Or worse, ignore me.

Ness was barely awake as she dressed, and I fought everything in me not to strip her out of those tiny little panties, but I grasped onto the minute amount of restraint I kept on-hand for times like this. I carried her to the front seat and strapped her in, loading up the car for the weekend. No one was on the road this time of morning, so I allowed my foot to lay a little heavily on the accelerator; we got there in about an hour.

After doing the in-laws thing up at the Cullen's house and dropping her off with a kiss in those early morning hours - not like they slept anyway - I headed over to my small little red house in hopes of roping Billy into an impromptu fishing trip.

He agreed.

He fucking agreed. Step one: get him alone in the boat, _check_.

We sat in the water for a couple of hours, initially in silence, the only sounds coming from the breathing and sighing of the forest around us. We glanced at each other countless times, and I caught him looking at me - was he sizing me up? - a couple times. Finally, he swallowed, spinning his reel delicately and then releasing the line a bit.

"You cut your hair."

_Uh._

"Yeah, uh, for work, you know? It was getting kinda long anyway, what with phasing and everything."

Silence.

"It looks good like that."

I blushed, running my palm over my scalp.

I fucking blushed at a man that had seen me bleeding and naked and screaming before. I still didn't know why, but I think it had a little to do with my need for his approval in that early morning air, filled with silence and nature and possibilities.

"Thanks."

Billy warmed up to me soon, and things seemed just about normal by noon, much to my relief.

He caught me up on all the local gossip, some of it having to do with 'Billy's son moving up to Seattle with that Cullen girl,' which made me laugh.

I filled him in on the new house and the neighborhood and explained to him exactly what HCI was paying me so much money for, which elicited a chuckle and a shrug from him and a broad smile from me.

As I looked over the water, pole in my hands and my hero next to me, all seemed right with the world. Though neither of us really caught anything.

I visited La Push Auto for a good while, just generally fucking around with Quil, Embry and the rest of the guys, and I even got a chance to stop by and see Nate briefly, and hand off some paperwork I had found online from the U.S. Secretary of the Interior's regional office. May as well see if we can get some government funding for the new center.

Ness and I met up that evening at Esme and Carlisle's for dinner, though she only ate a little, convincing me to go hunting with her and Jasper before I met up with the pack. They were all excited to hear more about our life in Seattle and how things were shaping up in the new house, and Esme insisted that she give me some sort of housewarming gift, though, I'd have to think about what I really needed for the new loft, for the most part, HCI had more than taken care of most of my living needs.

After finishing of my third plate of Esme's pot roast and potatoes, I wasn't starving, but I loved to watch Ness hunt. It was like sexy poetry in motion, watching her tight little body take down animals 4 times or more her size, that shit was an aphrodisiac like you wouldn't believe.

"Jacob, _please_," Jasper said uncomfortably, squeezing his eyes shut and pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Oh…sorry, dude." I shrugged. Keep forgetting the whole emotion-control thing works both ways. Jaz still gave me the heebie-jeebies, but he was growing on me.

I phased and hung back licking my paws and resting up while they did their vamp thing. After an hour or so, I left them still finishing off a grizzly and started running toward Toleak. I could never tire of this run, of the familiar smells, of the feel of the same earth underfoot. Phasing so far from home could never compare to the land around La Push and Forks I'd come to know, all the same, though even now, I'd find subtle differences in the landscape; it was all living and breathing and alive.

The shadowy outlines of my pack gathering greeted me in the moonlight; I nodded my head, then, greeted Leah and Sam first, running my muzzled along theirs.

_"So, what did you come up with?"_ Leah had caught a scent earlier that day and she, Jared, and Seth had left to run reconnaissance.

I really hated not being here for things like this, and I fought to stave off my looming guilt. This whole internal struggle thing was really, really tiring.

I hate to say it, but, I was leader, and as such, I just had a better handle on things like this. The pack - save for Sam - just didn't have the same instincts I did and even his were limited. They were amazing and I trusted them with my life, but, I was the Alpha for a reason; I'd learned that over time.

_"Didn't seem to be much of anything, and it faded as we got further away from La Push, but we'll keep an eye out,"_ Leah responded.

_"...yeah, this scent is new.." _Seth added.

My nose instinctively rose to the air, reaching, combing through the myriad swells around us, of the squirrels, and rabbits, and deer and elk, of the dampened moss, and brine on the edges of the rocks. The wind carried it all, and I attempted to differentiate each one, identifying them all, then filing them away under various categories in my mind. I couldn't place it though, and there wasn't enough for me to decipher at this point.

I paused, thoughtful, contemplative._ "..ok, well, you all do that. You've all been doing a great job while I've been away..."_

"_Thanks Jake…this smell, it's hard to place, it's so faint_…" Seth said raising his nose and taking a deep breath, plumes of breath visible in the night air.

"_It's new, not vampire, but…_" Quil said.

"…_yeah, we don't know what the hell it is,_" Jared agreed.

For some reason this unnerved me. I mean, I'd been phasing for almost a decade, we all had, and I had pretty much committed ever animal - old, young, sick - plant, tree, moss, moist or dry ground, human, whatever, to memory.

To come across something new after all this time, just didn't sit right with me, and I was sure the rest of the pack could feel the beginnings of my anxiety.

"_Jake, what do you need?_" Leah asked, knowing me and my leadership style all too well.

_"Jared, Leah, you take the north. See what you can come up with. Seth, you come with me. Embry, Quil, you take the area west of Forks. Sam, take Colin and Brady East. We'll meet up here in a couple hours. Listen out for me_."

They were gone seconds later.

I took off in an opposite direction, Seth hot on my heels, his mind bouncing and light and inquisitive, as it always was.

I smelled.

I breathed, and smelled and searched with my senses. I caught something, so faint, even I could barely understand what it was.

It smelled familiar, and foreign. Harsh, even the small scent I was able to pick up.

After those two hours though, we didn't find anything concrete. I'm not sure that's a good or bad thing.

I knew I couldn't keep them out all night, especially without the treat of a bloodsucker, so, I let them go a little earlier than usual, having Leah stay behind to fill me in on any details that I may have missed while away. She had proven herself so much over time, and I was ever more confident in her role as my beta and second-in-command.

In her way, she let me know how much the pack all missed me being there, and how she was starting to trust that I knew what I was talking about, which surprised me, like, a lot. After they'd all phased back, I let her know I needed her to keep a closer eye on the area while I was away, especially with this new development. She could sense my anxiety, and did her best to make me feel confident with leaving her in charge. Luckily, there wasn't much I didn't already know first-hand, because I was in so much contact with them, even two hours away.

After my debriefing, I headed back to the big house, slipping into a pair of sweats Ness'd learned to start setting out for me when I was with the pack. I greeted the family just before dawn and slipped upstairs to Ness, who had long sense gone to bed. I was dead tired, and slept until early afternoon, after which, Ness and I snuck in some alone time, before we went downstairs with her family, who no doubt heard everything.

_That_ would explain the smirk Emmett had plastered on his lips and that sick look on Ed's face with a facial tick that reminded me of some kinda nerve damage.

..._God_, when Ness did that thing wh--

"Jacob."

_Oops. Sorry._

_...fucking vampires_.

"Jacob!"

_Ooops. Sorry again._

"Mom!" Ness and Ed shot a pleading glance at Bella, her grin widening even larger than Emmett's.

I shrugged, and once Bella gave us the thumbs up, I was sure my thoughts were safe.

...for now.

-

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**A/N –A few things:**

-Thanks guys for reading my little story. My beta **VampWolfGamma **thinks its pretty boss, and I think she's a pretty smart gal.

-Ohana really is a restaurant in Belltown, Seattle.

-Thank you to everyone who voted, **Stealing Forever** won the Quileute "La Push" Challenge **happy dance.** If you haven't already, hop on over and check it out, but keep the tissues handy. http : // www. fanfiction. net/s/5535984/1/Stealing_Forever

-Jake makes me squeal a little. Can we all drool over him for a second? Okay. 1….2...

...and can we drool a little over his tattoo in this fic? Yeah, I think he'd be totally okay with that: http : // www. taracronica. com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/db_therock-side-081. jpg

Ok. Now I think I need a Shamwow.

**DISCLAIMER: Twilight characters and related likeness are owned by Stephenie Meyer, Little Brown Publishing. No profits have been received in the production of this piece.**


	10. Chapter 9 New Beginning

**Chapter 9 - New Beginning**

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I left her there. I left the warmth of the bed that early morning, needing to be alone. I wasn't sure I'd even have time to go phase, but, really, the last thing I wanted to do was start something so epic in my life without checking in with the pack first.

Call it me trying to hold on and remember the thing that's most important to me and has been for nearly half my life, while still pushing forward to my future.

Surprising to all of us, I really _had _been maintaining both my life in Seattle and making sure things were still in order back in La Push. Nate was making some leeway on the project he'd been hinting at with me, and I was helping as much as I could with gathering information. The pack seemed to be doing pretty well. Sam was still gradually taking a lesser role, but Leah was stepping up more, in spite of the addition of her fiancé to her life. And, with every phase, I was becoming more and more comfortable leaving that place, being here in the city without the worrying or the anxiety that came at first. I was making it a little better every day.

I drove out to the edge of the city in the navy blue of morning and parked my Mustang in the heavily wooded area, sure that no one would be here so early on a Monday. It had taken some trial and error on my part and a watchful eye from Ness on occasion, but, I'd found an awesome spot that only took about fifteen minutes to reach from the house. Hopping out of the driver's side and stretching my muscles, I tugged the collar of my black tank, pulling over my head and throwing it into the open backseat. I hooked my thumbs in the elastic waistband of my sweats, simultaneously slipping out of my running sneakers until I was bare in the warm summer air.

The ritual began.

So akin to me that I could have just as easily been breathing or blinking.

I let it go.

I slowly released the muscle that I'd learned to keep so tight, so controlled. It gradually eased, and my body temperature shot higher, the vibrations wracking me with controlled fury. The rolling started at the base of my spine, flowing through my veins. I squeezed my eyes shut for just a moment, enjoying this part of it, the place of fire and sky and madness, not quite letting that muscle go completely. Holding on, letting it surge in me, reminding me of who and what I was. Never allowing myself to forget for even a moment.

My lungs expanded with a deep inhale, then, the heat reached a fever pitch, and I was a mass of skin and sinew and muscle and bone, speeding through the forest, slowly releasing that breath. The forest around me was a whir of lines and light, moving so fast I could feel the moisture in the air bang against my nude body.

As the last of the air left me, my body was racing, contracting and pushing leg and arm and foot, and hands, I let it go.

I let it go in an explosion of white, and in a millisecond, I'd left the ground, hoisting all 6 feet 7 inches of me in the air, and in the next moment, my body had shifted. Had changed shape, and form and mass, and I heard all of them, the stream of consciousness and thought. A mess of sound and noise and mind.

My pack. My family.

"Yo, Jake!"

"Jake, man what's up!"

"Hey, hey, now it's a fucking party."

"Hey...whatcha got? You guys are pretty damn chipper for this hour of the morning."

"Yeah, well, I got a pretty good night's sleep considering what me and Rach--"

"Dude, really? _Paul_." He did that shit just to irk me. I realized this even more as his mind lightened. I was sure if we were standing in front of each other, a wolfy grin would be spread across his face and a series of bark-coughs would fill the space around us. I realized even more that if we were both _not _wolves at the moment and in front of each other, I would have cracked his jaw again, just to let him know I wasn't going soft while I was out here in the city.

"Well, Paul and I took the morning shift east out past Forks. We just let Jared and Embry off," Seth said. I closed my eyes and let my eyes become his, glancing around the area, taking note of any changes in the woods.

"Yeah, we've been tracking this smell for a few days now, but, haven't really found anything of substance," Sam included. For the past two weeks, this had been the report, night after night, morning after morning. There were never any changes in the land, save for the occasional vamp wanderer or nomad just passing through, and even with that, there was never any bloodshed.

Which, decidedly, drove me fucking insane.

It was like that pin of noise in your house, you know? You'd strain and strain to hear it, to figure out what the hell it was or where it was coming from. This was unnerving. This was uncertain and it bugged the hell out of me. From what I could tell, there was no real threat. I mean, if there was why hadn't it made itself known? Why hadn't it come and destroyed or killed or whatever? What was it waiting on?

"Well, guys, remember to keep your ears and eyes open for any changes, however small, and report back on what you've found."

"Sure thing Jake," Seth said.

"Of course, Jake, you know we will," Leah added seriously.

"Good. Now, you know, today's the day. I start at HCI in a few hours."

"Well, what the hell are you doing out here with us?" Paul laughed.

"Shit, excuse me for wanting to check in before I start the most important shit of my life. Next time, I'll just go on without filling you in."

"Okay, okay," Quil laughed, "are you excited? This shit is pretty major."

"Yeah. I gotta say. I am a little."

"That would explain the pre-dawn phase and check-in," Sam noted.

"...yeah. I guess so."

"Listen, Jake. _They _asked _you _to work there. That's gotta count for something," Quil said.

----

I'd called Alice the night before, for, well, fashion help. After standing in the closet among the countless dress shirts and sports coats and random pieces of fabric that I was pretty sure went on my body somewhere - though, I wasn't confident of exactly where - I knew I couldn't do this alone. That closet could be pretty damn intimidating, so, for the time I'd been in the loft, I kinda tended to stay on the jeans and t-shirt side of things. I mean, how many items of clothing did a man really need anyway?

Shirt. Shoes. Pants. Right?

"Jacob. Really," she sighed frustrated through the speaker of my cell. I just rolled my eyes and made mocking gestures as she went on and on about what colors would look best on me. God forbid I added any comment or opinion. She just shot me down, so I was silent, rolling my eyes as Ness chuckled and shook her head from where she laid on my bed with her book in-hand.

She was _not _helping. You'd think that a girl who managed to always look so good would take a more serious role in the way I looked too, but _no_. She had always tended to be ambivalent about my attire, pretty much preferring me in little to nothing. I knew her though, and I knew though she was known to wear a dress on occasion, I was pretty sure Ness would be just as happy in jean shorts and a tank everyday for the rest of her life, which, of course, she still made look amazing.

...she'd spent entirely too much time around me and the pack over the years, I'm starting to realize.

After much discussion, and a warning cry for me from Jasper in the background somewhere, Alice decided that, since it was my first day, I would wear a suit and tie, which I fucking hated the idea of. Still, she kinda knew what she was talking about when it came to things like this.

Navy suit, white shirt, green tie with matching kerchief. Hey, I wasn't arguing. It was all pressed and ready to go anyway, seeing as I hadn't touched a thing in the closet since Alice put it all in there.

Ness was already tinkering around in the kitchen by the time I got back from my morning trip, making enough breakfast for ten people, and I loved her a little more for it.

"What's cooking, good-looking?" I joked wrapping my arms around her waist and pressing my chest into her back.

"A little food for the working man," she said waving the spatula she held in her hand. "I figured you'd be hungry."

"Oh babe...you know me so damn well." I kissed the back and side of her neck, then patted her ass in those tiny pink shorts before cracking open a fresh gallon of orange juice. It was just about 7AM, and, with a shower, breakfast, and fiddling with all those buttons and shit, I'd have more than enough time to get to HCI five blocks away by 8:30. Gotta love city living. Gotta love living this close to your job even more.

"Jake, why don't you go hop in the shower? I'll be done by the time you get out, okay?" I nodded, placing a quick peck on her lips and lingering there for a few seconds. She smiled against my mouth, standing on tiptoe and wrapping her arms around my neck. She tried to pull away a couple times, but I held her there until she was giggling and slapping my shoulder. I really wanted to do more, but, last night was a marathon of sorts, so, that'd have to wait until this evening after I'd celebrated my victorious first day of work.

I kicked past a pretty big box at the back of my closet that I was sure Seth or someone had just dropped there when I moved In. After closer inspection, it looked like one of the boxes of belongings from Billy's I'd been putting off going through. I was actualy kinda surprised that Ness hadn't gotten on me about it still being around. After rummaging through it for a few seconds, I promised myself I'd take some time to go through it, flipping the cardbord flaps back closed and sliding it back and out of the way.

I laid everything out, hung the suit and shirt on the back of the closet door, then made quick work of showering and shaving. Stepping into my boxer briefs and padding to the kitchen, I caught her just she was setting out a platter of eggs and meats and pancakes and toast and fruit at the table for me. She handed me a fork, and I kissed her appreciatively before the work of shoveling food into mouth began. She stood there, amused, sipping her tea and shaking her ponytail side-to-side as I dug into the mountain of food.

"Thanks babe," I mumbled with a mouth full of eggs. "This is delicious."

She chuckled, handing me a napkin, "Of course baby...You excited about today?"

I swallowed, "Yeah, I am. Kinda nervous though."

"No need, Jake. You're gonna do a great job and they're gonna love you more than they already do, I'm sure of it." She winked, sipping her tea. Making her proud made me feel so good. Her opinion had meant so much to me, mostly because she was so dead-on more often than not with her advice, and she was so grounded. This all never ceased to surprise me, considering the genius family she had, and well, the fact that she was so beyond beautiful.

I couldn't help but grin, "Thanks baby. Really. I know it's hard to believe, what with all this sexy, quiet confidence and everything, but, I'm just a little unsure, you know?"

She rolled her eyes. "Of course, how could I have ever questioned the quiet confidence of Jacob Black," she quipped sarcastically.

"I know, right?" I scoffed, popping a couple sausage links into my mouth, and taking a couple swigs from the gallon of orange juice.

"Well, just remember, they recruited and courted you for a reason. Keep that in mind. You were one of the best in that program at UW, and you knocked it out the park at your internships. You belong there."

I nodded, grateful for her. I wasn't really sure if I would have gotten through all this without her constant positivity. Between her and Bells, they were my own little Jake cheerleaders.

She glanced up at the clock, "Now, finish up, you still gotta get dressed."

----

HCI was situated in the heart of Seattle, amid countless other skyscrapers and shiny new mirrored buildings in the city's business district. I knew the area well, as UW's campus was fairly close, and the Engineering building I'd spent countless hours in over the years was even closer. I'd passed this very building as an undergrad and done a little research as I neared my junior year. This was just the type of cutting edge robotics and design and engineering that excited me. This was what I wanted to do my entire life, from the time I popped the hood on my first car - Billy's old 1964 Chevy - to the hours I'd spent perfecting my senior thesis and project.

Made my heart thump. Inspired me.

"Jacob!" His ice white smile greeted me just as I stepped off the elevator as be beckoned me toward him excitedly. Christopher Franklin would be my boss and was Senior Project Manager. I'd interviewed and spoken with him countless times since the whole process began, and he instantly made me feel more at ease with beginning at the company. He ran the fingers of his left hand through his sandy blond hair and grabbed for my palm with his right. "Welcome, the team's been waiting for you. We're so happy you're here."

I smiled, whipping out my best grin, trying my best not to crush his hand by accident, as he slapped my back and lead me through the glass doors. I'd been here quite a few times with the other recent grads that were being recruited around the same time as me. The building was so cool, belying the amount of technical processes and development that occurred there on a day to day basis.

Bright, vibrant colors, industrial fixtures, exposed brick and concrete floors outlined the spacious offices. We walked with purpose as Chris explained to me where everything was.

Bathroom. Kitchen. Break room. 5th floor printing room. Marketing wing. Industrial. Executive offices where on the 10th floor. Mechanical had its own wing and a bubbly receptionist to boot.

"Jake, this is Samantha. She pretty much runs things around here. Let her know what you need, and she'll get it for you." He smiled at her, and she stood with an outstretched palm. I took it with a smile. "She may make you bring her in some Starbucks though, so, watch what you ask for." They both grinned and she cocked her head.

"Nice to have you Jacob. Let me know if I can help you get settled in."

"Thank you Samantha, I'll do that."

We kept moving as we maneuvered through the rows of pretty awesomely designed glass and metal-enclosed cubes. The team was pretty large - about fifteen total - and each of my counterparts were engrossed in whatever projects they'd been assigned to. We finally came to an extremely spacious cube on a row that faced a wall of glass peering out to the street.

This was fucking insane.

"Well, here we are Jake. This is all yours. This is your laptop and docking station. Samantha will be around with your Blackberry information and handset in about fifteen minutes. She'll bring you the information of the vendor we use for supplies, so order what you'll need. Get settled in. We have a meeting with Jonathan at 10. Sam has set up your Outlook and I'll come around for you around five-till."

Jonathan Brooke was the Vice President of the department and was on an entirely different pay grade than me or any of the mere mortals in this department. You can imagine my nervousness when he'd spoken to me personally and wanted me and the other recruits to come out to his personal box at an NHL championship game. This dude had enough money to buy La Push and build gold-plated roads over the forest.

Chris grinned again cordially, before nodding and reaching for my hand. I nodded and smiled, gripping his outstretched palm, and, in the next moment, I was alone in this amazing space. I just stood there thanking God that the chair that they'd ordered for me looked to be more than large enough to accommodate my size. Beyond that, I was fucking dumbstruck and trying to drink in all the awesomeness around me.

I really wanted to call Ness and tell her all about the morning so far, but, after glancing at my watch, I realized she'd be in her Women's Lit class, plus, I wasn't too sure how great of an impression I'd make chatting on my cell within an hour of arriving. I settled with a quick text to her letting her know everything was going well, then, I powered up the MacBook and huge monitor attached to it, giving me an extended desktop and two screens to work from. I let them know early on that I was a hardcore Apple user, so, obviously, they'd made that adjustment just for me, which fucking rocked.

I scrolled through my already half-full inbox filled with a couple welcomes, a meeting invite from HR this afternoon, and a download on the clients and projects I'd be working on. I could feel the rumbling of excitement in my stomach as I recognized some huge names in the mass transportation and automotive industries, as well as some smaller, local Northwest companies that I'd learned about while at Washington. It was beginning to look as if there would be little on-ramp time for me to get my sea legs here, which was more than okay with me. I definitely couldn't wait to dig into my workload, and remind HCI why I'm here. I still felt pretty damn green rightly, but, at least I had two years internship under my belt, so I wasn't starting at ground zero.

After clicking around in the local onboard software, I was pleasantly surprised to learn that the company obviously used the newest version of SolidWorks, which was one of three design programs I was familiar with from school.

I took a few moments to get accustomed to the space, looking out the window at the city below. This could be the only place in Seattle that I liked nearly as much as Belltown. This was definitely more of a business district, but I really loved it around here. I couldn't help but think back to La Push and how much different the roads and buildings and houses all looked compared to this.

Well, there was really no comparison, and if I was ever sure of the choice I'd made to leave there and forge my own path, the time here, being with Ness, living in my neighborhood and coming in to this amazing office, made it painfully obvious that this is where I needed to be.

It wasn't better than the rez. Actually, it was the complete opposite. Just like running patrols and protecting the land and fighting for it when needed was my job, my birthright, making things better for myself and family was too. And, because the rez just happened to be about as far out as you can get from any real civilization, I _had _to get out. I had to get out when I saw alcoholism kill the dreams and focus of so many of my classmates and Rachel's friends from school. I knew it as I saw the cracking paint and rapidly declining state of the buildings I passed my entire life. I knew. This was what I needed to do right now.

We all - me, my dad, the council, my pack - had to sacrifice a little and be a little less than comfortable in the here and now, so we can all make it better for the future.

Fuck, I sound like a Captain Planet episode.

Anyway, not long after, Samantha stopped by with my cell and a huge catalog of more stuff than I'd ever use in this lifetime, and told me to give her my order by the end of the day and it would all be here by tomorrow or so. The growling in my stomach let me know it was snack time already, and I was stoked that Ness had had the foresight to pack extra food for me to bring. Two bananas and a sandwich in, Chris came around to take me into our meeting with Jonathan.

I quickly wiped my mouth and straightened my tie, making conversation with Chris as we passed back through the rows of PMs, some popping their heads or eyes up to glance in our direction and take note of the new guy. For the first time that day, I was so happy Chris was a tall guy himself, at least I wouldn't stick out as the massive, giant sore thumb I usually did around normal-sized people.

Jonathan's assistant was definitely Native. I ran my eyes over her jet back hair with blunt-cut bangs, high cheekbones and sienna skin trying to place her. We were about the same age, but I didn't know her, which was kinda weird, cuz I knew everyone on the rez. After a while, I figured she may have been a transplant from somewhere else in the country, or maybe Makah. Though, that was kinda unlikely, cuz I knew most of them too.

_Oh well._

"Hello Amaya, can you tell Jon that we're here for our meeting?" Chris said in a professional voice, with a friendly smile for the attractive woman.

"Of course Chris." She paused to pick up her receiver, "Jonathan, Chris and Jacob are here for your 10 o'clock....okay. I'll send them right in." She returned the phone to the cradle then glanced in our direction, smiling brightly at me. For a moment, I was kinda proud, then nervous that she knew my name. I'd never laid eyes on her before. I guess that's what makes a great assistant.

"You can go right in. Mr. Brooke is expecting you."

"Thank you." Chris nodded, then ushered me through the double doors to Jon's office.

The butterflies that I'd spent the last half-hour trying to still started swarming in my stomach all over again.

-

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* * *

**A/N –** I apologize for the epically long time between chapters here. RL got in the way something serious, not to mention writing my Jake/Bella o/s, The Neighbor . Now and moving forward though, I will try my best to update every other week, alternating with Stealing Forever posts, so you won't have to wait so long to see where Jake's headed here.

FYI - TMIM:BJ was featured on **My Vamp Fiction** in the Dungeon this week, so, if you get a chance, hop on over and check out this awesome site. It was also nominated for an **Indie Twific Award**, which, I think is totally boss, too.

Thank you to my beta, VampWolfGamma, per usual, you're the best.

Thanks so much for reading, guys. I really love you :)


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